It has been a long time since I last watched something good... Came across The Secret World of Arrietty just now and spent some time on it. It was simple and sweet.
Life have been very busy and targetless. Anime like this reminded me of those research days. Things are so simple and I only need to focus on the research, my mind was clear as the water, my life was satisfying and fulfilling as the ripen fruits.
Never had I felt so empty and busy like now, yet feeling tired and having my mind fogged up so badly. I couldn't see my future.
I was awarded a silver star the other day. The face of it was for my contribution to the South Korea market, but the fact was for the MD to shut my mouth and to make me sound stupid complaining about the unfair stuffs going on in the office, and about his bias thoughts on me.
I helped the IT consultant recently in the Windows 7 system upgrade and came across a confidential document from the MD's backup files. It was an evaluation and 5 years plan for this office. I was unfortunately identified as the most problematic employee, least chance for career advancement. I was also identified as emotional when taking up multiple tasks, which was an unfair claim without taking into consideration of the scenario for saying the truth under the threat of losing my job.
I don't come to work fighting for names and power, I work for self improvements and professional growth. I raised questions to things that doesn't sound right, and make noise to get things done. I guess I learned my lesson seeing the dirty tricks from these people not wanting to do their jobs, yet yearning for credits and attentions.
I know I shouldn't have read that document, but I also start to feel that honesty and sincerity is merely a relative term. It is only worthwhile in front of people who can appreciate it.
The dark vinegar is brewing... I hope I won't loose myself in this strange world.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
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