My thoughts on marriage and having babies

This is just my frank thoughts, it does not aim at anyone. If anyone doesn't like it, we just have to agree to disagree. Let's begin.

Well, may be I am not romantic at all, and I even suspect that I hate babies. Living in the age, when everyone around is getting married and busy having babies, I somehow feel nausea after being bombarded constantly with all the lovey dovey phony wedding photos and kissy huggy sleepy baby photos.

I think I can comprehend that every parents love their children, that's why they just can't help taking every single photos of their babies, since before the child was born.

I don't know how much one must love her man, in order to go through all the pain and suffering to have a baby that takes his surname. I can't understand this because since young I have never found babies to be cute, and never wanted to get close to kids, let alone having it grown in my body, the thought itself is enough to kill me.

I think I can also comprehend that every couple is in fact love their partner, that's why they wanted to take photos of their every steps in every day life.

But I can't put myself into their shoes, and rationalise the behaviour. I don't understand why one would spend so much in the wedding photo albums, instead of a quality honeymoon. I particularly don't like having DVD record of the whole ceremony. I don't find it nice to see a bunch of drunken in my own wedding dinner.

When I say quality honeymoon, I don't mean a trip to overseas capital cities busy buying souvenirs, or a quite time at the beach. I would prefer rock climbing and skiing, otherwise, visiting some museums and historical places, not to take pictures to prove that you were there, but to dig deeper into the roots.

To me, a wedding is just an event in life, just like a university graduation, and man, I didn't even attend my own graduation. Can I choose to skip the marriage?

I was constantly told by all mothers around me, that I would change, once I have babies. I don't know if I would change the thoughts, but I surely would need to change my attitude in order to survive with the child for the rest of my life. And if I ever change my thoughts, I could only think that it would be a very painful change for me. Don't say "oh no, it wasn't as bad as you think." to me, it is such a cliche, it sometimes made me wonder if all other women were gang up to have a conspiracy, trying to get other women to fall into the same bitterness they are tasting, so that it makes them feel better.

I am even constantly pressured by my married friends to get married, without much reasons. Some even tried to say that my life would only be complete with a man and kids. I seriously doubt their words, and this would be the time I think the conspiracy theory is true. It is hard enough to have a housemate, sharing a house with you, let alone a husband, that shares your body with you. It made me feel an invasion of privacy and security.

I never wanted to commit my life to marriage and children, because I think all these things would only ruin my life. I have to give up too many things in order to get married, have babies and live a life that suit everyone's expectation. But I could understand that getting through it would make one to be more mature. I however don't agree that the level of maturity could only be achieved by completing of these tasks.

Nonetheless, all I wanted to say is, I have had enough of all these pressures, and stop bugging me for what I want to do in my life. Judge all you want, but I am not ready yet. Even if I missed my biological clock, it is none of your ovary's problem. And if it is your sperms' problem, go find other ovary that is ready for your sperm. Leave me alone, for now.