1st Chinese New Year as a wife of someone

As we all know, Chinese have a lot of traditions to follow, and depending on the clan, there are different ways of doing things.

This is the first time I celebrated Chinese New Year with my husband's family. It is a totally different culture to mine. Although I am not particularly in agreement with some of the things they do, but in the name of respect, I kept my mouth shut. Nonetheless, I played along and entertained tonnes of stranger relatives and their intimate questions. I hope when it comes to my husband's turn to visit my family, he will at least stay for a longer time, without playing with his phone or flipping the TV channels.

I feel that women after married lost their identity. They become someone's something. Wife is just one of the checkboxes in men's life. Chinese stress on caring the elderly, ironically I always felt that the maternal family and relatives are conviniently forgotten, or put at a lower priority.

I guess gender equality can only be achieved without getting married. Once married, you are done.

Anyway, men and women must not argue on such things, there is no right or wrong. We can only agree to disagree.

Happy New Year 2012

I would like to accomplished the following during this 2012 new year:

1. Finish moving and unpacking my stuff in my new home. -- I have lots of rubbish accummulated over the past decades, which I am having trouble finding time, energy and space to sort them out and place them nicely in this new home. My room is like a war zone now... and will be like this for a long time, because I will start work from tomorrow onwards. This means I have about 1 hour a day to do anything useful at home.

2. Find a suitable job to continue my engineering career. -- I had a nonsensical meeting with the corporate HR the other day. They told me despite my technical competencies and cross-functional roles in the office, they will not promote me nor transfer me to other departments, as it is not within the company's expectation for me to continue developing myself after returning from the USA office. They will, however, train Decamouth to become a better leader, so that myself and Ms England would like to continue working for him.

They requested me to give them 6 months period to see the transformation. Otherwise my resignation will be treated as my personal grudge against Decamouth.

I think it is time to change course. I will find a job in this new year, and leave them to their monkey business.

3. Take care of my own donation accounts. -- My parents have been managing those accounts since I was young. It is time for me to take care of it now.

If possible, I would like to visit these organisations this year.

4. Resume participation in charity work. -- I have stopped participating in charity work since before leaving to USA in 2010. Now that I am more settled, I guess I could take out a weekend per month to join my husband for some charity work.

5. Exercise at least 3 times a week in the park in front of my house. -- I haven't been doing much exercise, and after moving to this new place, there is no more reason, the park is less than 5 mins walk away from my house.

6. Keep in touch with my friends. -- I have been meeting my friends after married pretty frequently, and I love the time spent with them.

Unlike my husband who has all his friends and relatives around the same area, and could meet up for a chat anytime. I need to drive a little further, if not flying, in order to  meet up with my friends, which of course would spend a little longer time comparatively. I guess time management is the key.

7. Visiting my family at least once a month. -- Given that my family is pretty busy, it is hard to find them available at home... But I miss home after married.

8. Reward myself once a month, without blowing the budget. -- I have not been rewarding myself enough throughout 2011, and have dumped all the money at the end of the year for crazy shopping... I am guilty for spending a little too much in the shopaholic shrine.

9. Start growing my own vegetables. -- My passion fruit plant in my house has started producing large, juicy and passionately red fruits for months. I have started planting baby leeks in front of my husband's house. Let's hope it would start growing.

10. Go for honeymoon. -- My husband's friend has bought us a travel package as our wedding present. It is a travel package to Cambodia. We have not claimed or make any bookings, will need to get that done some time soon.

11. Find someone who can carve the world map onto a 4ft tall x 8ft long steel flat plate. I would like to hang it onto the wall in the stair well, and hook up all the fridge magnets collected from all over the world.

My uneventful wedding

My traditional wedding ceremony was held on Tuesday, 13 December, 2011.
It happened my husband's neighbour also had a funeral on the same day.
With the Chinese tradition, we tried to avoid the funeral traffic by having a quick tea ceremony on the bride's house, before leaving to the groom's house (approx. 1 hour by car).
In the end, we managed to avoid the funeral team, who left the neighbour's house slightly after we entered the groom's house.

My wedding banquet was held on Friday, 16 December, 2011.
I started the day by rushing back to my house to collect the dinner gown -- which is my mom's wedding gown.

I then rushed to the bridal shop for make up etc., but was faced with pouring thunderstorm on my way, which caused flash flood in the city center. I was forced to take routes that I have never taken before, risking of getting lost, in order to reach to the bridal shop on time.

Half way through preparing myself in the bridal shop, I received a phone call from the restaurant manager telling me that they have electrical failure at the venue. That was 2.5 hours before the dinner starts. I asked if they have enough generator sets for back up, the manager said alright, she also promised that the blackout will be fixed in 2 hours time. I also found out that the electrical breakdown occurred since 11.30am that day. If they can't get it fixed since 5 hours ago, I doubt they could get it fixed in the next 2 hours time, but I can only trust the manager's word without any choice.

i reached the venue just before 6pm, changed into my mom's wedding gown in the dark, and started helping in setting up the cocktail food prepared by my husband's relatives. There was still no electricity, it seemed to me that they did not prepare the gen-set early enough, and had trouble connecting them. I also found out that the electricity blackout has a chained effect -- pumps not running, that means no water in toilet, kitchen can't cook the dinner.

Guests started coming around 6.30pm, and all well sat by around 7.30pm. My husband's side was furious with the slow response of the M&E team on fixing the issue. The restaurant manager prepared a few portable coolers, and I was busy walking around making sure people are aware of the cocktail, hoping that the food will keep them occupied, and lined the stomachs with some cold beers, that they would have less complaints.

We had a tea ceremony with my grandma and uncle, they couldn't make it for the actual wedding ceremony, and was travelling from out of state to attend the dinner.

While everyone was melting and munching away the limited home-made cocktail food, the M&E team finally managed to connect the gen-set. With my brother's help, we quickly set up the PA system to broadcast the wedding march.

The dinner finally started at 8.30pm.

Due to the government regulations for organising social events passed midnight, the dishes brought to the tables were rushed. Our greetings to each table was brief, and wasn't able to spend enough time with our much cherished friends and relatives.

While we were greeting from table to table, I had a bad cramp on my legs resulted from my high heels. I am not used to wearing high heels for long hours, and was forced to take out the shoes.

By the time we finished greeting each table, guests already started leaving. We then went straight to sending people off at the door.

The entire event went through very quick, I was unable to find out from people how they felt about the dinner. Thanks to my husband's uncle, who fought for us for discounts on the banquet due to the mishaps, we managed to get some discounts from the restaurant manager.

In the end, I was glad that my much-liked wedding march music was played. We chose George Frideric Handel's See, the Conqu'ring Hero Comes March from Judas Maccabaeus. I am also glad that the dining music that I have prepared long ago was played over the dinner, though I doubt many people would pay attention to it.

Last but not least, I woke up the next day with a burning sensation in my eyes. After visiting the doctor, it seems that it was resulted from tiredness, make up chemicals went into the eyes, and contact lenses.

I guess with the incident of cramp legs from high heels, and the painfully-teary-red eyes from the beautifying products, it is concluded that I am just not feminine enough to be a lady that I would like to be. Nonetheless, I think at this age, I should just accept myself for who I am, and am glad that I have a small group of friends who appreciate me for who I am. I am glad that they showed their supports and participation over this uneventful banquet by staying and patiently trusting that the event would eventually turn out fine.

I am sure not many people had attended a blackout dinner like this, so on the positive side, I guess people would remember my wedding dinner as an out-of-ordinary one. :-)

Marriage

I am ill with flu, tired with pimplish face and panda eyes.
I wonder if I really want to go down the path of getting married.

I am stressful everyday with work, and night with life after marriage.

I guess I don't know who I am marrying after all, or perhaps I am just having some pre-marriage syndrome.

Happy Birthday 2011

It is my birthday today, it is a Thanksgiving day.
I took a day off work, because I don't want to be surrounded by the nonsense in the office on my birthday.

This time last year, I bought myself two pieces of cakes and a coffee from a Starbucks in Manhattan. I was travelling in a train in New York, heading to my colleague's house. I was preparing for the Thanksgiving dinner for the next day with my colleague.

This birthday, I woke up late in the morning, quarrelled with my mom and went shopping with her, and spent the rest of my day writing and sending wedding invitation cards.

Over the past year I
... drove in the snow for the first time.
... scraped the snow and ice off my car the first time.
... visited automated car-wash the first time.
... had an amazing experience in the US.
... found out I have some relatives in the US.
... sold my car for the first time.
... left US and returned to Malaysia.
... said good-bye to the best boss I ever had -- Mr. Porche.
... joinned Mr. Porche on a very fruitful field inspection in Kuala Langat.
... received my Engineering Chartership title.
... gave a lecture as a guest the first time. Though the attendance rate wasn't good due to the date chosen was before a long holiday -- most students had left to their home town.
... had my first car accident.
... successfully grown my own passion fruit.
... took shower in LA and HK airport. Nothing to boast about, but I thought it was cool to shower while on the move.
... pierced my ears.
... went for facial for the first time.
... went to Vietnam and China for the first time.
... conducted the first product performance acceptance test on my own.
... met a crazy couple, but also met a lot of good people.
... got married.
... experienced the pre-wedding photo shooting session.
... resigned and stupidly retracted my resignation due to trusting the vague words from the HR, without negotiation.
... ended 2010 after dining with friends and wines.
... started 2011 in a fresh, chilly, beautiful morning, and spent the first day writing my 2011 goals.

It is hard to believe that I was still on the other side of the globe, walking in thick snow and ice, driving the 2nd-hand 2008 silvery Corolla in the beginning of the year. And now, I am in this warm and humid place, driving my little pearly 2008-fresh-from-factory Myvi, which ironically costs more than that Corolla.

There is about one month left for 2011, these are the goals I listed for this year. I still have about a month to make it up...

1. Complete my Engineering Chartership.
    Done, got that in July.
2. Work towards a promotion or pay increment.
    Done, I had a increment upon returning to the office at the beginning of the year.
3. Steer my career direction towards project management, in order to gain some exposure in project finance control.
    Failed, because our office do not have this position anymore. And my contributions in my cross-functional role has not been taken in well.
4. Hold my values close to my heart when facing office bullies.
    I think I am doing fair on this, except I missed a couple of chances of speaking out by staying quiet.
5. Learn to relax.
    I didn't do well in this, because I am not having quality rests due to various reasons.
6. Find a venue that is safe for me to exercise at least 2 times a week.
    I registered myself to the gym, visited it 3 times a week during the first 5 months, and only once a week over the past two months.
7. Find a wedding dress.
    Done. Will be wearing my mom's.
8. Giving myself a small reward once a month, for the hard work I have done.
    So far so good, it takes money to reward myself, and I haven't been watching my budget well, so I wasn't able to reward myself for quite some time. I guess taking a day off on my birthday is a kind of reward.

I think I should start planning for next year. It will be difficult to set a goal, as I will be living with my husband and mother in law...

Thinking back those good memories I had in US, the nonsense in the Malaysia office now and the uncertainties that awaits me at the life after marriage, I am not feeling positive on this birthday, at times like this, I recall Mr. Porche's words before he left --
You are good enough as who you are. You need to be confident in your own skin, know what you want and work your way there, you will do fine.

Eventful week

Friday 18th Nov. was supposed to be my last day of work. But things happened on the Tuesday, when the HR Director from China called and had a long chat with me.

She said changes are on the way for this office, and she asked me to give it 6 months. Though doubtful of what could be done, I guess I should give her words a fair chance, so I agreed to stay for another 6 months, i.e. work until the end of May 2012.

After agreeing to that, I felt like an idiot, because I have conducted a hand-over session with Decamouth, said good-bye to many colleagues across the global offices, etc.Some reps. actually heard my departure news from the MD, and verified it with me. I was so looking forward to be released, but I guess I got to retract all my good-bye's with everyone now.

On Wednesday, I received a crystal article from a Taiwan rep. for my wedding. It was sent under his personal name, but it was sent to our office. So it stirred up a bit of discussion on whether or not I should accept this gift, given that he is our rep. and I am supporting him technically.

The China HR director said I shouldn't keep it, our MD said we should. Eventually I kept it, and called the rep. to explain the situation has changed, that I will now stay with the company.

Meanwhile, as I already submitted my resignation for more than a month, I have made plans for the rest of the year. Having the HR spoken to me this late, somehow shows me the efficiency of this company. Anyway, some of my plans can be re-scheduled, some can't.

Going for Alan Tam's concert was one of the fixed arrangements, it was on 19 Nov. 2011. I planned to take it as a celebration for leaving the company. And since this is the first time I attended a concert, I also treated it as a farewell to my young days, because after the marriage ceremony in December, I am no longer a free person.

Alan Tam wasn't one of my favourite singer during my teenage days, in fact, I don't really have an idol. But his songs are so darn popular, you can't avoid them at all.

I still remember those days when I used to squat next to the huge radio, pay a lot of attention to the weekly chart title, wait patiently for the song I like... when it come out, I would press the record button and stay very still until the end of the song, so that I won't record some other noise. I would curse the person who continued to speak when the song had already started. I listened to radio on the bus, while studying late etc.

Alan's songs last night brought back a lot of memories, I thought I wouldn't have much emotions attached to a singer that I didn't pay too much attention, but I was wrong. It was the memories that attached to those songs, significant or not, it brought tears when I heard it again last night.

Most of the audiences in the concert last night are about my age, Alan's songs are collective memories for all of us around this age. I may be a little old for screaming and waving the neon light bar, singing along all night long, but heck, I paid RM300 for event like this, shouldn't I be relaxing myself and enjoying the atmosphere?

Despite the traffic and the rain, I enjoyed the concert well. Brought back the neon bar, I like its simplistic design,will put it in the car, it would be useful when having some issue with the car at night at the highway.

Pitera Power

My wedding is around the corner, yet I haven't started my beauty treatment, slimming treatment etc. I guess it is too late now.

Anyway, I went to have a facial session the other day, and got my entire face covered with pimple scars. My friend were anxious looking at those scars, and she brought me to Parkson to shop for some solutions. We dropped by SKII counter, and the lady did a simple tests on my face using some roller/scanner thing.

It turned out that I have got 3 out of 5 "D" in SKII's term. However all these 3D's aren't scoring well (slightly above the average readings.)

As I had been using SKII's miracle water ages ago (stopped for 1-2 years because I was too lazy), I picked that up again in order to sooth those deep pimple marks on my face.

One week after using the miracle water, most of those scars disappeared! I can't believe my eyes, it seems like the Pitera is really doing something. I do not have any "before" and "after" photos to share, because I didn't take any photos when I was covered with pimple scars.

Sometimes I guess women need to spend some money to keep ourselves looking good, in order to feel good. In my case, I only want to get the oil out of my face. Otherwise I should start researching into harvesting the oil from my face, and who knows, may be I can compete with Petronas? @_@