Wonder why I am troubled coming home?
That's because it is the loneliest place in the whole world.
I am closest to my loved ones, but I can't get to them. It is worse than being far and can't get to.
I do not have many friends with me, cause I can't seem to show my emotions and thoughts honestly. Cause I understand very well what fair-weather-friends means. Everyone is fair-weathered, that includes myself.
I can't show people that I am happy about my chance to be sent to USA for training for 1-2 years. Because 2/3 of the company were fired away, I need to take care of their feelings.
I can't show people that I may be a threat to them, cause I don't want to be isolated.
I tried to manipulate situations, but the more I do it, the more I fear to be seen through.
Nonetheless, I troubled coming home, cause it is the most scary place in the world, as I couldn't hide anything, yet couldn't share anything. The worst part I guess, is because everyone in this place is lonely, it is like the deep jungle in Borneo island, it is so damp, no sun can penetrate through, only rains can shoot through those thick layers of leaves, only lonely moss just grows everywhere.
What do people do when everyone gets lonely? Mosses grow on top of each other, people just stab on others in order to get some excitement out of the life. How dare you be honest and open!
I am listening to Canon D major now, I don't know how others liked or thought about this song; it somehow gave me a feeling of watching the fireworks -- so beautiful yet lonely. It is similar to when someone is hurt badly and tears and emotions exploded out, the chaos made the lonely zombie-like lives pretty.
Every played Resident Evil? I am living in one, the office is filled with half-dead zombies, and I am becoming one.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Huge quake
There was an rather unexpected resource shuffle in my office on Monday.
2/3 of staffs who survived from the previous retrenchment got laid off, of which half of them were dismissed immediately. The other half stayed until the end of the year / beginning of next year, depending on the notice period for different positions.
There were only 9 people left, including myself, of which 5 are managers.
Since then, there have been lots of strange stories flying around the office. I will tell them later. In short, I have gotten the best deal among everyone who stayed, though not in the most obvious way.
Anyway, over the past couple of days, it had allowed me to see Mr. Twoheadsnake's other faces more clearly. Mr. Twoheadsnake at first thought that I was the leftover, who the VP decided to keep for the sake of pity. He then showed off his "power":
"Wow, now that your future is left hanging, that you may not even be in the office... it will leave only me to work with Decamouth. As you know, Decamouth is in very good terms with Cockroach, and he behaved well in front of Porche911... which means I must make sure the MD will like me, or else I have no place to stand."
"I am not sure what you want out of your career, but for me, I want to sit on Porche911's place. I am not going to leave this company, cause they are paying me well. I don't think with your current situation, you should think too much about career advancement, but to secure a job first."
He also called me the following day, when I was stucked in traffic jam on my way home:
"Vinegar, I think if I am in your position, it would be better to just resign and let the pain end quickly. Now that you don't know if you will be kept by the company, won't it be better if you make the initiative to resign?"
The persuasion went on for about 20km, not to mention that I was driving with average speed of 30km/h.
When Porche911 asked me to move my desk from Engineering department to Sales department, I had a choice of two desks -- one is sitting face to face with Decamouth, with the back facing walls, so no one can see your computer screen, this place used to be Mr. Big's seat. The other one is sitting facing the back of Decamouth, having Porche911 seeing through his glass panels in his room onto my desk. The second place is more exposed comparatively. This is what Twoheadsnake said,
"Are you going to choose Mr. Big's seat?"
"No, I am going to choose another seat. Why?" I answered.
"Oh, cause I am eyeing on that seat, if you take it, then I will have to take the other one when I am moved over to that department."
"Oh, don't worry, I don't want to face Decamouth everyday, so you can take that seat."
There hasn't even any news of moving him to the Sales department. He has only been recently moved out of engineering department to project department...
Anyway, I have reported this to Porche911 today. I didn't tell him who made that comment, but I guess with him knowing it is from the remaining 9 of us in the company, it is not difficult to find out. It may take some time for him to discover the true faces of people. But through the observation after the conversation today, I knew he guessed the wrong person -- Decamouth.
2/3 of staffs who survived from the previous retrenchment got laid off, of which half of them were dismissed immediately. The other half stayed until the end of the year / beginning of next year, depending on the notice period for different positions.
There were only 9 people left, including myself, of which 5 are managers.
Since then, there have been lots of strange stories flying around the office. I will tell them later. In short, I have gotten the best deal among everyone who stayed, though not in the most obvious way.
Anyway, over the past couple of days, it had allowed me to see Mr. Twoheadsnake's other faces more clearly. Mr. Twoheadsnake at first thought that I was the leftover, who the VP decided to keep for the sake of pity. He then showed off his "power":
"Wow, now that your future is left hanging, that you may not even be in the office... it will leave only me to work with Decamouth. As you know, Decamouth is in very good terms with Cockroach, and he behaved well in front of Porche911... which means I must make sure the MD will like me, or else I have no place to stand."
"I am not sure what you want out of your career, but for me, I want to sit on Porche911's place. I am not going to leave this company, cause they are paying me well. I don't think with your current situation, you should think too much about career advancement, but to secure a job first."
He also called me the following day, when I was stucked in traffic jam on my way home:
"Vinegar, I think if I am in your position, it would be better to just resign and let the pain end quickly. Now that you don't know if you will be kept by the company, won't it be better if you make the initiative to resign?"
The persuasion went on for about 20km, not to mention that I was driving with average speed of 30km/h.
When Porche911 asked me to move my desk from Engineering department to Sales department, I had a choice of two desks -- one is sitting face to face with Decamouth, with the back facing walls, so no one can see your computer screen, this place used to be Mr. Big's seat. The other one is sitting facing the back of Decamouth, having Porche911 seeing through his glass panels in his room onto my desk. The second place is more exposed comparatively. This is what Twoheadsnake said,
"Are you going to choose Mr. Big's seat?"
"No, I am going to choose another seat. Why?" I answered.
"Oh, cause I am eyeing on that seat, if you take it, then I will have to take the other one when I am moved over to that department."
"Oh, don't worry, I don't want to face Decamouth everyday, so you can take that seat."
There hasn't even any news of moving him to the Sales department. He has only been recently moved out of engineering department to project department...
Anyway, I have reported this to Porche911 today. I didn't tell him who made that comment, but I guess with him knowing it is from the remaining 9 of us in the company, it is not difficult to find out. It may take some time for him to discover the true faces of people. But through the observation after the conversation today, I knew he guessed the wrong person -- Decamouth.
Friday, September 11, 2009
How I start my Friday Morning
One of the project I am handling now, is having some faulty pulleys. We have purchased the pulleys from our manufacturer, and got it sent to our office, we planned to delivery to the site when our supervisor is there.
Each of the pulley weighs around 35kgs, there were two of them, packed in a small wooden box. The gross weight was 73kgs. The delivery guy had trouble moving it, he left it in our meeting room.
When the pulleys arrived yesterday afternoon, our site supervisor and myself opened it to check the conditions. The pulleys are heavy yet fragile, as it would crack easily. After the inspection, we were told to move the items to other place, as the meeting room will be used for some VIP visits next week.
By this time, this inspection of pulleys has attracted many people -- Ms. Azreal, our costing engineer, logistic lady, receptionist and Twoheadsnake. Everyone was gathered to watch a show.
So the supervisor took a trolley to move the pulleys away. I suggested to put it underneath one of the unoccupied desks, cause that desk is easily accessible when the forwarder come to collect it. Here is when everyone started to give suggestions, and some of them are making irresponsible suggestions.
Ms. Azreal wanted it to put behind another desk, which is hidden behind all the cabinets. She first suggested us to leave the things on the trolley. But I know very well that the trolley will be requested by the HR next week for the VIP visits. Ms. Azreal then suggested that the pulleys should be taken off the trolleys and put in the cabinets, but I reckoned that the weight of the pulleys will damange the weak cabinets, and it won't be easy to retrieve it again. Anyway, Ms. Azreal made a few more suggestions, and each of her suggestions she wanted the supervisor to tried out first, before accepting my justifications. Twoheadsnake stood on her side. The supervisor just didn't budge at all.
Eventually Ms. Azreal walked away when she can't get people to listen to her. The way she made her suggestions was as irresponsible, she clearly stated that it is not her job to carry those heavy goods, she mentioned that she was just trying to be helpful, but it was our fault that we refused to try it out. Twoheadsnake also mentioned that it was the supervisor's headache to think of how to handle it on site. 73kgs box is not a weight that could be handle with care by everyone.
As I was thinking of re-packing the pulleys into two different boxes, the logistic lady asked Twoheadsnake to help. Twoheadsnake was making a big fuss that he is a weak person and he couldn't carry heavy and dirty stuffs. He said it with a laughing face, but I knew he was reluctant to help. So I said hastily that I will sort things out, and there is no need for them to quarrel around. This made Twoheadsnake upset.
I came home last night, spending about 2 hours making a wood box, carried it to the office early in the morning and attempted to finish the re-packing before 8am -- the official start work time. Twoheadsnake came in while me, logistic lady and costing engineer were re-packing the pulleys. He walked pass us, looking at us, and went to his place cover his ears with headphone and sleep.
Ms. Azreal arrived, she glared at us as if we were doing something weird, and went to complain with the HR.
We three ladies packing heavy goods, messing around, and I was hammering the boxes. It won't be quiet to sleep at that environment. The HR came later, and showed her face that she wasn't happy that I made noise with the hammer. She didn't comment anything when she saw me carrying the pulley to put into the box.
Everyone else were gathered by Azreal and watching us, laughing and gossiping behind.
We eventually packed everything nicely, transferred the goods to a smaller trolley and hid it well underneath that desk behind the cabinets. At least with the packing redone, each box weighs only 40kgs now, which is much easier for people to handle with care.
We also cleaned up the place, with the help of the cleaner. Everything was finished before 8am.
Suddenly, I saw the crowd just walked away quietly with disappointed look on their face. Twoheadsnake then went to the pantry to gossip with Azreal about it... this is how I started my Friday morning.
Each of the pulley weighs around 35kgs, there were two of them, packed in a small wooden box. The gross weight was 73kgs. The delivery guy had trouble moving it, he left it in our meeting room.
When the pulleys arrived yesterday afternoon, our site supervisor and myself opened it to check the conditions. The pulleys are heavy yet fragile, as it would crack easily. After the inspection, we were told to move the items to other place, as the meeting room will be used for some VIP visits next week.
By this time, this inspection of pulleys has attracted many people -- Ms. Azreal, our costing engineer, logistic lady, receptionist and Twoheadsnake. Everyone was gathered to watch a show.
So the supervisor took a trolley to move the pulleys away. I suggested to put it underneath one of the unoccupied desks, cause that desk is easily accessible when the forwarder come to collect it. Here is when everyone started to give suggestions, and some of them are making irresponsible suggestions.
Ms. Azreal wanted it to put behind another desk, which is hidden behind all the cabinets. She first suggested us to leave the things on the trolley. But I know very well that the trolley will be requested by the HR next week for the VIP visits. Ms. Azreal then suggested that the pulleys should be taken off the trolleys and put in the cabinets, but I reckoned that the weight of the pulleys will damange the weak cabinets, and it won't be easy to retrieve it again. Anyway, Ms. Azreal made a few more suggestions, and each of her suggestions she wanted the supervisor to tried out first, before accepting my justifications. Twoheadsnake stood on her side. The supervisor just didn't budge at all.
Eventually Ms. Azreal walked away when she can't get people to listen to her. The way she made her suggestions was as irresponsible, she clearly stated that it is not her job to carry those heavy goods, she mentioned that she was just trying to be helpful, but it was our fault that we refused to try it out. Twoheadsnake also mentioned that it was the supervisor's headache to think of how to handle it on site. 73kgs box is not a weight that could be handle with care by everyone.
As I was thinking of re-packing the pulleys into two different boxes, the logistic lady asked Twoheadsnake to help. Twoheadsnake was making a big fuss that he is a weak person and he couldn't carry heavy and dirty stuffs. He said it with a laughing face, but I knew he was reluctant to help. So I said hastily that I will sort things out, and there is no need for them to quarrel around. This made Twoheadsnake upset.
I came home last night, spending about 2 hours making a wood box, carried it to the office early in the morning and attempted to finish the re-packing before 8am -- the official start work time. Twoheadsnake came in while me, logistic lady and costing engineer were re-packing the pulleys. He walked pass us, looking at us, and went to his place cover his ears with headphone and sleep.
Ms. Azreal arrived, she glared at us as if we were doing something weird, and went to complain with the HR.
We three ladies packing heavy goods, messing around, and I was hammering the boxes. It won't be quiet to sleep at that environment. The HR came later, and showed her face that she wasn't happy that I made noise with the hammer. She didn't comment anything when she saw me carrying the pulley to put into the box.
Everyone else were gathered by Azreal and watching us, laughing and gossiping behind.
We eventually packed everything nicely, transferred the goods to a smaller trolley and hid it well underneath that desk behind the cabinets. At least with the packing redone, each box weighs only 40kgs now, which is much easier for people to handle with care.
We also cleaned up the place, with the help of the cleaner. Everything was finished before 8am.
Suddenly, I saw the crowd just walked away quietly with disappointed look on their face. Twoheadsnake then went to the pantry to gossip with Azreal about it... this is how I started my Friday morning.
Mr. Twoheadsnake
I am feeling stupid for helping Mr. Twoheadsnake for the past few days.
Mr. Twoheadsnake has been taking care of this pump vibration project since I handed over to him about a month ago, and he has been handling it fine.
There are few items in the punch list, which required our action. I have solved another one of them early this week, but because he is now the contact person for this project, I needed him to sign the letter to the customer, instead of myself. It was an easy credit shoved into his pocket. Anyway, I didn't bother, as long as the work is done.
However, today's incident made me upset, and started thinking twice.
Mr. Twoheadsnake promised the site team to be there this afternoon for the vibration measurement of the pump, to witness with the client that the rectification work is making an improvement to the pump vibration.
He told me he didn't want to go, because he wanted to settle his personal stuffs at the bank, and asked for my advice if he must go. I didn't give much advice, but asked him to make his own decision whether or not he should be going to the site. He then gave me his computer password, saying that there is an email he drafted, he wanted me to send that email off his PC to the customer upon receiving his instruction. He said he will be monitoring the project from phone, and will try to make it to site when he finishes his stuffs at the bank.
When he left the office at 2pm, he made everyone known that he was leaving to the client's place. But I knew very well that he wasn't planning to go there. Having the trust that he will monitor the project over phone contact, I didn't make any comment.
Later in the afternoon, he called me to say that there were some hickups on site, that his drafted email wasn't useful anymore. And requested me to send another email to the customer, from his PC, informing that the work was done fine, not revealing the hickups, and trying to get the rectification work to continue for the remaining pumps on Monday.
I couldn't understand his explanation on the hickups, so I called up the site supervisor. I found out that it was only some small issues, and it was resolved easily.
While I was drafting an email in my laptop, requesting for permission from the customer to continue working on the remaining pumps, Twoheadsnake called up to say everything has been resolved, and that I should send an email to the customer mentioning the successful outcome.
I was rather annoyed at that point, as the way he put it sounded like he solved the hickups, while in fact I was the one that was supporting the supervisor from the office. I didn't follow Twoheadsnake's advice of sending the email off his PC.
When Cockroach asked if my email was based on Twoheadsnake's feedback from site, I said no, but it was from the supervisor. I didn't want to mention that Twoheadsnake didn't go to site.
I made one mistake before I left the office -- I went to shut down Twoheadsnake's PC, which required me to login to his PC with password. It was done in the presence of another colleague.
Meanwhile, the supervisor also told me that the whole site team, with the client was waiting for Twoheadsnake to show up, cause he told the supervisor that he was on the way -- that was around 2.30pm. They received his phone call at 5pm, telling them that he won't be there.
Anyway, this incident has given me an insight of Twoheadsnake -- he only took me as a person that can cover his ass, and to take credit from. This is not the first time I discovered his tactic of telling two different stories to different people. Along with him ally with Ms. Azreal to spread nonsense in the office these days, today's incident of trying to take me as a scapegoat to cover his absense at work, just blown my final respect to him as a Professional Engineer (PE).
Mr. Twoheadsnake has been taking care of this pump vibration project since I handed over to him about a month ago, and he has been handling it fine.
There are few items in the punch list, which required our action. I have solved another one of them early this week, but because he is now the contact person for this project, I needed him to sign the letter to the customer, instead of myself. It was an easy credit shoved into his pocket. Anyway, I didn't bother, as long as the work is done.
However, today's incident made me upset, and started thinking twice.
Mr. Twoheadsnake promised the site team to be there this afternoon for the vibration measurement of the pump, to witness with the client that the rectification work is making an improvement to the pump vibration.
He told me he didn't want to go, because he wanted to settle his personal stuffs at the bank, and asked for my advice if he must go. I didn't give much advice, but asked him to make his own decision whether or not he should be going to the site. He then gave me his computer password, saying that there is an email he drafted, he wanted me to send that email off his PC to the customer upon receiving his instruction. He said he will be monitoring the project from phone, and will try to make it to site when he finishes his stuffs at the bank.
When he left the office at 2pm, he made everyone known that he was leaving to the client's place. But I knew very well that he wasn't planning to go there. Having the trust that he will monitor the project over phone contact, I didn't make any comment.
Later in the afternoon, he called me to say that there were some hickups on site, that his drafted email wasn't useful anymore. And requested me to send another email to the customer, from his PC, informing that the work was done fine, not revealing the hickups, and trying to get the rectification work to continue for the remaining pumps on Monday.
I couldn't understand his explanation on the hickups, so I called up the site supervisor. I found out that it was only some small issues, and it was resolved easily.
While I was drafting an email in my laptop, requesting for permission from the customer to continue working on the remaining pumps, Twoheadsnake called up to say everything has been resolved, and that I should send an email to the customer mentioning the successful outcome.
I was rather annoyed at that point, as the way he put it sounded like he solved the hickups, while in fact I was the one that was supporting the supervisor from the office. I didn't follow Twoheadsnake's advice of sending the email off his PC.
When Cockroach asked if my email was based on Twoheadsnake's feedback from site, I said no, but it was from the supervisor. I didn't want to mention that Twoheadsnake didn't go to site.
I made one mistake before I left the office -- I went to shut down Twoheadsnake's PC, which required me to login to his PC with password. It was done in the presence of another colleague.
Meanwhile, the supervisor also told me that the whole site team, with the client was waiting for Twoheadsnake to show up, cause he told the supervisor that he was on the way -- that was around 2.30pm. They received his phone call at 5pm, telling them that he won't be there.
Anyway, this incident has given me an insight of Twoheadsnake -- he only took me as a person that can cover his ass, and to take credit from. This is not the first time I discovered his tactic of telling two different stories to different people. Along with him ally with Ms. Azreal to spread nonsense in the office these days, today's incident of trying to take me as a scapegoat to cover his absense at work, just blown my final respect to him as a Professional Engineer (PE).
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Violin Class Resumed!
Finally, after stopping for a month, the violin teacher finally recovered... well, a little. At least his fever is not as bad anymore.
We are learning staccato today, in order to play Gavotte. It is pretty difficult to play this piece at my level. But I guess I will learn it slowly.
I find it really difficult to play a happy tune when I am feeling distressed -- Whatever softskills that I need to learn up, I better learn it up fast, before it is too late. I wonder if there is a magical potion, where one drop is enough to raise my EQ 10 years in advance? I am willing to trade my hair for it.
We are learning staccato today, in order to play Gavotte. It is pretty difficult to play this piece at my level. But I guess I will learn it slowly.
I find it really difficult to play a happy tune when I am feeling distressed -- Whatever softskills that I need to learn up, I better learn it up fast, before it is too late. I wonder if there is a magical potion, where one drop is enough to raise my EQ 10 years in advance? I am willing to trade my hair for it.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Mrs. Azreal
Following my previous post about women fight. Mrs. Azreal is showing her feathers today.
One of my project is rushing for a client's inspection next week Thursday. The fact that next Monday is a public holiday doesn't make things any better.
There were a few outstanding things to be iron out before the inspection, which we will need to sort out some assistance from various vendors. But there was only one thing that was noticed by the client. The client will highlight this particular issue (Issue A) over the inspection.
Vendor A has given us a quote to sort out Issue A; so does Vendor B to Issue B. But as Issue A is more urgent, one must spend more time to urge the vendor to speed things up. Issue B could wait for a little while, and get fixed after the inspection.
Mrs. Azreal asked me the delivery date of Issue B this morning, and I have explained to her that there is no need to expedite Vendor B; however Vendor A's reaction has been slow and we need to get Issue A sorted out before next week's inspection.
Mrs. Azreal took note of that, but yet still continue to chase Vendor B, and almost launched an email war zone between us and Vendor B (the whole project department were all cc-ed in the email.) She felt very important when the war was on.
I got mad when the Vendor was begging us for longer time frame to delivery the goods, and wrote an email to everyone, requesting people not to confuse the focus for next week's inspection target. That eased off some pressure on the Vendor. Mrs. Azreal was not happy about it, but she knew she screwed up my schedule.
She had not spent any single effort to sort out things in my project, but was busy bargainning for some cheapo pressure gauges for Twoheadsnake (on the other project that I have handed over to him). She had spent the time to check if I have carried out a conference call to settle with the project management stuffs, and bugged someone else to question me why didn't I conduct a conference call. All these project management stuffs have nothing to do with her, and she had time to muck about. She even tracked if I have done my tasks (some of the emails which were sent to me got her in the cc list also), and openly questioned others for my action taken on the tasks, (but I do not necessary include the original mail list when replying to the sender) thinking that I have not taken any action.
She taught that she had covered herself well, by phoning Cockroach every few minutes, when Cockroach is busy at the funeral of his mother in law. I somehow pity Cockroach for having Mrs. Azreal in the department.
Lucky for Mrs. Azreal when it comes to the end of the day, when the client called to postpone the inspection for another week. And Vendor A managed to find a better solution for what was holding them back.
I do not want to interfere with what happened with Mrs. Azreal work. As usual, when the boss that I report is not around, I prepare a summary of tasks for the week. I have mentioned every single matters that I and the site supervisor has dealt with, and listed out the items that needed advices.
I have no comments on people who do not have a priority mindset like her, and trying to cover her mistakes by finding faults on others.
On the other hand, Twoheadsnake stood on her side, and said that we women are too emotional to work with each other. It is better for him as a man to deal with women. Well, this is not surprising. This is not the first time Twoheadsnake made such sexist remarks to me anyway. Did I mention before that he also carries the same title as Decamouth -- Ir.?
I will try my best to remain professional, and let the facts speak for itself.
One of my project is rushing for a client's inspection next week Thursday. The fact that next Monday is a public holiday doesn't make things any better.
There were a few outstanding things to be iron out before the inspection, which we will need to sort out some assistance from various vendors. But there was only one thing that was noticed by the client. The client will highlight this particular issue (Issue A) over the inspection.
Vendor A has given us a quote to sort out Issue A; so does Vendor B to Issue B. But as Issue A is more urgent, one must spend more time to urge the vendor to speed things up. Issue B could wait for a little while, and get fixed after the inspection.
Mrs. Azreal asked me the delivery date of Issue B this morning, and I have explained to her that there is no need to expedite Vendor B; however Vendor A's reaction has been slow and we need to get Issue A sorted out before next week's inspection.
Mrs. Azreal took note of that, but yet still continue to chase Vendor B, and almost launched an email war zone between us and Vendor B (the whole project department were all cc-ed in the email.) She felt very important when the war was on.
I got mad when the Vendor was begging us for longer time frame to delivery the goods, and wrote an email to everyone, requesting people not to confuse the focus for next week's inspection target. That eased off some pressure on the Vendor. Mrs. Azreal was not happy about it, but she knew she screwed up my schedule.
She had not spent any single effort to sort out things in my project, but was busy bargainning for some cheapo pressure gauges for Twoheadsnake (on the other project that I have handed over to him). She had spent the time to check if I have carried out a conference call to settle with the project management stuffs, and bugged someone else to question me why didn't I conduct a conference call. All these project management stuffs have nothing to do with her, and she had time to muck about. She even tracked if I have done my tasks (some of the emails which were sent to me got her in the cc list also), and openly questioned others for my action taken on the tasks, (but I do not necessary include the original mail list when replying to the sender) thinking that I have not taken any action.
She taught that she had covered herself well, by phoning Cockroach every few minutes, when Cockroach is busy at the funeral of his mother in law. I somehow pity Cockroach for having Mrs. Azreal in the department.
Lucky for Mrs. Azreal when it comes to the end of the day, when the client called to postpone the inspection for another week. And Vendor A managed to find a better solution for what was holding them back.
I do not want to interfere with what happened with Mrs. Azreal work. As usual, when the boss that I report is not around, I prepare a summary of tasks for the week. I have mentioned every single matters that I and the site supervisor has dealt with, and listed out the items that needed advices.
I have no comments on people who do not have a priority mindset like her, and trying to cover her mistakes by finding faults on others.
On the other hand, Twoheadsnake stood on her side, and said that we women are too emotional to work with each other. It is better for him as a man to deal with women. Well, this is not surprising. This is not the first time Twoheadsnake made such sexist remarks to me anyway. Did I mention before that he also carries the same title as Decamouth -- Ir.?
I will try my best to remain professional, and let the facts speak for itself.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Now I need to fight with women
As I have mentioned in my previous post, that there is a sexist HR in my company. Anyway, this post has nothing to do with sexist.
She held a personal grudge towards me, out of some rumours she heard from Decamouth. She couldn't pin me down, cause it was false.
She also held a personal grudge towards me, out of some nonsense she heard from Woodchild. She couldn't pin me down, cause I am obviously standing on the facts for that case.
She then vent out her grudge with our MD, based on some stupid allegation made by Mrs. Azreal. And this time, our HR mixed it with a bit of truth -- I speak loud.
So she went to tell the MD today, that I speak very loud in the office, and that caused me to reveal the amount of each project loss to everyone.
The MD told it to Mr. Porche911, who then gives me the warning.
I agreed that I talked loud, and I explained that it was because I received phone calls from site, where people can't hear me. I also explained that I have tried to find a room to talk, when I need to talk loud.
I also mentioned that I took up the jobs in project department without knowing or involving in the commercial stuffs, I know nothing about project costs. How could I reveal the cost of projects?
Then when I thought about it, it was from an incident earlier this week, when Mrs. Azreal wanted to get a second quotation for a tiny little pressure gauge, when my project is really running tight against the wall. It is not worth to save that little amount of money, so I went to talk to her
"This project has already spent so much money to rectify these things, why are we still saving on these little pennies?"
Only then I realised that I have made a mistake by telling her how to do her jobs. This is not the first time she dragged my project schedules, and I went to tell her off to get things done quick. She has not been happy about me, that I know.
In fact, that's the only time I talk about project costs in front of others, which didn't even mention the amount. She obviously then went to tell our HR.
The HR with the previous two cases, which all happened within this week's time, finally caught a chance to stab me right at the back.
I did not want to argue much with my boss, I told him I will watch out on my volume. And went into the MD's room to thank him for the inputs, and will improve myself.
Nonetheless, I am extremely disappointed with the HR, which accused me for something that she did not have proof, and did not talk to me before hand.
She held a personal grudge towards me, out of some rumours she heard from Decamouth. She couldn't pin me down, cause it was false.
She also held a personal grudge towards me, out of some nonsense she heard from Woodchild. She couldn't pin me down, cause I am obviously standing on the facts for that case.
She then vent out her grudge with our MD, based on some stupid allegation made by Mrs. Azreal. And this time, our HR mixed it with a bit of truth -- I speak loud.
So she went to tell the MD today, that I speak very loud in the office, and that caused me to reveal the amount of each project loss to everyone.
The MD told it to Mr. Porche911, who then gives me the warning.
I agreed that I talked loud, and I explained that it was because I received phone calls from site, where people can't hear me. I also explained that I have tried to find a room to talk, when I need to talk loud.
I also mentioned that I took up the jobs in project department without knowing or involving in the commercial stuffs, I know nothing about project costs. How could I reveal the cost of projects?
Then when I thought about it, it was from an incident earlier this week, when Mrs. Azreal wanted to get a second quotation for a tiny little pressure gauge, when my project is really running tight against the wall. It is not worth to save that little amount of money, so I went to talk to her
"This project has already spent so much money to rectify these things, why are we still saving on these little pennies?"
Only then I realised that I have made a mistake by telling her how to do her jobs. This is not the first time she dragged my project schedules, and I went to tell her off to get things done quick. She has not been happy about me, that I know.
In fact, that's the only time I talk about project costs in front of others, which didn't even mention the amount. She obviously then went to tell our HR.
The HR with the previous two cases, which all happened within this week's time, finally caught a chance to stab me right at the back.
I did not want to argue much with my boss, I told him I will watch out on my volume. And went into the MD's room to thank him for the inputs, and will improve myself.
Nonetheless, I am extremely disappointed with the HR, which accused me for something that she did not have proof, and did not talk to me before hand.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
How to fight like a man
I read on the newspaper few days ago, there was an article regarding Hillary Clinton, with her three major roles -- a wife, a woman and a mother.
One of the paragraphs striked me, it said something like this -- When all her opponents spread nasty rumours about her, she insisted that she should just tell people what are her visions when she is chosen a leader. She was stabbed badly, because she didn't fight like a man.
I have a rough day today. My contractor bite back on me; walked out of the construction site, after creating a mess; claimed that it is not his mistake, but the manufacturer's fault for producing low quality materials. Unfortunately, he also takes care of my other project, which is technically much more challenging.
For this other project, we had an agreement, verbal, on how things should be done, he agreed. There is no way I could document everything, as he has no email, no fax. Anyway, today, he said he can't achieve whatever we had discussed, and need to revise his quotation.
I got mad, real mad. I wanted to scold, but he was introduced to me by one of our very experienced colleague. So I didn't vent it out, because I respect this colleague of mine.
I tell myself that I do not need to fight with this guy, I just need to remain calm, get my goal right and sort it out.
However, the more I keep quiet, the more I am being taken advantage. Then the article regarding Hillary Clinton appeared in my head.
I am surviving in the world of men, I cannot solve problems like a woman. To hell with the dignity, principles and self-righteous, I need to shoot right into these arseholes' and get them to feel the pain in the ass. Men can't care less about being courteous when it comes to work.
But, how do I do it? I am not a guy, same things that come out from a guy will be 100 times nastier when it is spilt out from my mouth. My voice when loud, is less tolerable compare to guys.
How do men fight? I need to master this skill before dawn tomorrow.
One of the paragraphs striked me, it said something like this -- When all her opponents spread nasty rumours about her, she insisted that she should just tell people what are her visions when she is chosen a leader. She was stabbed badly, because she didn't fight like a man.
I have a rough day today. My contractor bite back on me; walked out of the construction site, after creating a mess; claimed that it is not his mistake, but the manufacturer's fault for producing low quality materials. Unfortunately, he also takes care of my other project, which is technically much more challenging.
For this other project, we had an agreement, verbal, on how things should be done, he agreed. There is no way I could document everything, as he has no email, no fax. Anyway, today, he said he can't achieve whatever we had discussed, and need to revise his quotation.
I got mad, real mad. I wanted to scold, but he was introduced to me by one of our very experienced colleague. So I didn't vent it out, because I respect this colleague of mine.
I tell myself that I do not need to fight with this guy, I just need to remain calm, get my goal right and sort it out.
However, the more I keep quiet, the more I am being taken advantage. Then the article regarding Hillary Clinton appeared in my head.
I am surviving in the world of men, I cannot solve problems like a woman. To hell with the dignity, principles and self-righteous, I need to shoot right into these arseholes' and get them to feel the pain in the ass. Men can't care less about being courteous when it comes to work.
But, how do I do it? I am not a guy, same things that come out from a guy will be 100 times nastier when it is spilt out from my mouth. My voice when loud, is less tolerable compare to guys.
How do men fight? I need to master this skill before dawn tomorrow.
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