Birthday coming

Saw JW's message, reminded me of her birthday in October. Happy birthday JW!

Most of my friends are celebrating their birthdays towards the end of the year. All starting around October, through December.

Mine is coming soon, and it is not the first time I spend my birthday overseas. But it will surely the first time I spend it in America.

I am starting to think of what I have done this year, and what I want to do for next year... let me start by digging out my list from last year.

Generalising Engineers

While writing my previous post, something striked my mind:

I find that Mechanical Engineers are pretty nonchalant, Electrical and/or Electronic Engineers are very picky, Civil Engineers have huge ego, Chemical Engineers are very stubborn.

I guess it has something to do with the job we have. Mechanical engineers are usually required to do a little bit of everything, up to the point you just can't be bothered about many things; or rather eating too tall of a sandwich, which one can't be bothered with the bread crumbs that dropped everywhere.

Electrical Electronics engineers are usually dealing with minutely small stuffs, that they tend to amplifies small imperfections. They would be those that cut the lettuce and tomatoes to exact size before stacking them nicely in between the bread. They would be too busy picking up the crumbs while eating the sandwich.

Civil engineers build things that are visible to the rest of the world, which I think, indirectly fed their ego. They would be the ones that would make sure the sandwich are built tall and stout, eating it or not is another different story.

Chemical engineers mostly deal with processes, which usually operate under standard procedures. It takes a lot of challenges to change standard processes. They are the one that would make sure it started with bread, then butter, then lettuces, tomatoes, ham....

Computer Modelling Pitfall

I encountered some incident about computer modelling recently, which made me re-think the reliability of our support teams in the headquarters.

It somehow gave me a chill down the backbones, as if we were having the blind leading the blind.
I disagree the way our engineers trusted the numerical modellings without much scrutiny.

Incident 1:
When I performed dynamic balancing of the equipment, I discovered a natural frequency of the equipment casing, they (the engineers from structural design group) denied it by saying their simulation doesn't show a natural frequency.

They then told me to remove some of the temporary supports. Though disagree, I went ahead do as they said, I didn't find any significant improvements with or without those extra supports. Few days after that incident, apparently they did a vibration test on the same equipment themselves, and came to me claimed that removing the supports reduces the vibration, and I didn't know how to do it properly.

I looked at the spectrum, it only reduces by 1 mils. The natural frequency spikes still clearly shown in the spectrum, stood high and proud, among all other frequencies.

Incident 2:
As I have started my training with the engineering design group, I sat through with some senior engineers to see how they design the structures and perform the calculations.

Listening to these people boasting how powerful their numerical modelling software is, how complicated their model is -- taking more than 24 hours to calculate etc... made me smile. It is similar to listening to a teenage boy boasting how powerful his calculator is, and how much time he spent using that calculator.

Well, it is not surprising when a simple equipment, which can be well represented by beam elements, was modelled in shell elements. I can see that some of the frame works, which are plain metal sheets, can be modelled with shell elements. But when it comes to support beams, if modelled using shell elements, it would require more work compared to beam elements. Reason being although the support beams are formed by metal sheets, the structural behaviour of that formed metal sheet is no longer demonstrating same behaviour as the plain metal sheets.

I don't even know if the constraints for the shell elements were implemented properly or not. Besides, there is no need to include the plain metal sheets in that particular structural calculation. It doesn't give much effect to the overall structural strength. Having developed such bulky model, do you still expect your super computer to run as fast as it is supposed to be? I could already hear the computer groans.

When I asked about the variables and assumptions that were taken into account, when they develop the models. They said there is nothing, the models they developed are accurately representing the real world scenarios. Even the most powerful computer with gigantic models in Los Alamos National Lab dare not claim that.

When I asked about the potential issues that discovered so far in this product series, which they would like to solve before the next upgraded series. They didn't know what I am talking about. The facial expressions I got from them were priceless -- some offended because I questioned their almighty numerical models, some puzzled because they don't see the need of improvements, because the model tells them this product series is great.

I feel scared, when they told me they would be going to other branch offices around the globe to give training. When they can't even answer my simple and politically correct questions properly.

I know these are senior engineers, there are various other things I could still learn from them. But I somehow starting to realise my strength. Just because I don't speak a word of how much I know, it doesn't mean I don't know a thing. I also understand that it is not my job to criticise /question their work. I could only be more careful next time, when requesting for their assistance in the future.

It is a pity when people forgot that the computer is just a tool, numerical modelling is just a calculation program. That is why people need to verify their models with experiments. Even with experiments, we still need to question both the experiments and computer models. But then I guess, that is too much of a research work for many? Then what are these engineers suppose to do?

It is an even larger pity, when the corporate drove the engineers too hard, that they don't have time to stop and think. Because engineers are the ground level you need to help build your corporate kingdom, you need to make sure they steer your chariot in the right direction, rather than letting them run blindly.

Mr. Forgetful

Went to the Alzheimer and Dimentia nursing home last week as usual.
This time, we brought some Chinese kids to perform Chinese drums. Some of them are good in musical instruments, so they also performed violin and piano.

One of the kids was playing Gavotte, I was so thrilled, because I knew the first part of it. I borrowed his musics score after that, to copy the remaining part of Gavotte.

Anyway, this time, there was this old man, he served the US Navy, and was stationed in South Korea for a long while. He spoke loud, and is rather arrogant. But I guess that's the typical American soldiers' way of communication.

He kept saying he saw our sisters in the club, doing Can-Can dance. He also talked about some of his experience while in South Korea. But I think he can't remember most of it, and he couldn't be sure what really happened. All I knew, he was in the US Navy, spent a long time in South Korea.

I can't see a single loneliness in his eyes, but I see emptiness in his eyes, there were no focus. As if someone were lost in the search of his memory, for very long.

There was also another guy I met. He is only in his mid 30s, tall, big and handsome guy. I saw him since the first time I joinned this voluntary work. His conditions has gone worse. He still carries his rubber bathtub duck, still have napkin hanging around his neck, but his eyes... they have become dull...

Office Halloween

Halloween is around the corner. I never knew it is such a huge thing in USA.
People literally dress up so much to celebrate it.

Anyway, our office will be having a "bring your kids to work" day on 29th October, Friday.
We are encouraged to prepare some sweets on our desks, for the trick or treat.

There is also a competition in the office, on the decaration in our cubical.
We are also encouraged to wear Halloween dresses to work on that day.

Anyway, my lady colleague urged me to get something to dress up. I thought I am already pretty scary looking, there is no need to dress up any further. But when we went shopping yesterday for her anniversary gift, I saw a hairband with cat's ears. $5.

I went ahead and got it.

So, I will become a cat on that day. Meow~~

I am waiting for the supermarket to reduce the Halloween T-shirt, because I really love one of the orange t-shirt they have there. But it is over-priced at the moment.

me is from Jamaica

The toast masters committee wanted me to be the grammarian on the coming meeting.They said I have a British accent, so, shoud be good at grammar.... I don't see the correlation between the two, and I certainly don't agree with the British accent.

Within the same week, someone called a wrong number to my house, the person asked if I am from Jamaica, I said no. He then said, nice accent, I thought you are from Jamaica.

The Jamaica reminded me of another wrong number call while I was in UK. An American lady called and she insisted she called the right number, and it turned out as an interogation... she asked if I were in UK, how come I have Jamaica accent.

There were several other incidents, where I was mistaken too... I was mistaken by Chinese as a Taiwanese; also by Taiwanese as a Chinese. I think I was also mistaken as Korean once.

Now I am curious how Jamaican speaks...

Come to think of it, Americans have relatively bad score in their world geography knowledge... I bet most of them think that if you were not American, you must be Mexican or Jamaican....

Communicating with Power and Influence for Women

Attended a training, named communicating with power and influence for women.

Few useful notes:

1. Do not say sorry for no reason.
e.g. When someone spilled their coffee, you said "Oh, I am sorry." Unless you are the one that is responsible for that, don't say it.

2. Don't use "I have an idea...". It sounds weak. Replace it with solution/plan/answer etc. Of course, when you said that, you better mean it. Don't say you have a solution, when you don't.

3. Don't use "I" so much, unless you are the subject.
e.g. I have a problem with my employee, who rarely arrives at work on time
Replace it with: My employee have a problem. He/she rarely arrives at work on time.

e.g. I need this report done by Friday.
Replace it with: This report needs to be done by Friday.

4. Try not to say "May be I am the only one that thinks...", "Correct me if I am wrong..."
It is a two sided blade, depends on how you use it.
If you are already powerful, saying it would make people feel that you are more humane.
If you already feels like a sub-ordinate when talking to people same level as you, you don't need to lower yourself down further. If you are wrong, people will correct you anyway.

5. Claim your ideas.
e.g. before meeting, prepare some handouts, with your name and date. Bring them to the meeting.
after the meeting, send a follow up and memos.

6. Speak out for yourself, don't wait for others to ask for your opinion. Don't wait for chances to express, but look for chances to express.

7. Try not to say "Are you busy?", "Can I borrow you for a minute?"
Chances is, things you wanted that person's help, is never a 1 minute task.
Also, if you are a boss, what do you expect the person answers you? "No, I am free.", or "Yes, I am busy?" both sounds wrong... It is as good as you asking your husband "Do you think I am fat?" either way, he will be punished.

So, replace it by something more definitive: "Is this a good time to talk? I could use your ___ minutes."
When people have a better expectation of how much time and attention is needed, they will be more prepared to listen to you, without feeling cheated.
Think of it when someone asked for your 1 minute's time, but it took your entire hour to accomplished the task. How woud you feel?

8. When dealing with difficult people, don't let your emotion take control of you. When you feel that you are getting emotional, try to focus on something else, like doing a math in your mind. Yes, we all know that... but how are we going to practise engage listening? Well, the truth is, when we are emotionally attached, we aren't listening anyway. So it is alright to lose your focus for a while. Besides, difficult people are difficult, because they know they get what they want by being difficult. They also know that once you lose control, they will have an upper hand. So their target is to make you lose control, they won't leave you without defeating you.
So, it is ok to take some time to relax your mind, since this difficult person will not leave in no time.

In general, I feel that most of these things describes how guys communicate. But it does make things less personal and more transparent. There might be bumps along the way, before I got better with communications, but I got to keep practising. Shoot first, worry later.

Decamouth Postal Services

While working as the tech. support in the HQ, I received a request from the proposal manager, K yesterday. It is a job from Decamouth in Malaysia.

Decamouth sent in request for technical services on the same job few weeks ago. According to the long chain of emails I received yesterday, the design requirement has changed -- about 20% larger demand than the original design. I didn't find out the new design requirement from Decamouth's forwarded email, but by reading through all the correspondence. All I read from Decamouth's email is -- this email is urgent, and he needs it in 24 hours time. (Why can't he just summarise the entire email correspondence then? Save my time to read through all these, which helps me to design it faster for him? Selfish bastard.)

Decamouth also requested K to provide some "value added" stuffs, so that there would be a better chance of winning the project.

As I reviewed the new design requirements, there are lots of things that weren't clear, and we took some assumptions to get it done. I listed out the assumptions, send it back to K, and told K if she wants to talk about those "value added stuffs". K said, don't bother, because it is just a budgetary, and she has better things to do. She said she has no time to deal with these vague statements. Kudos to K!!

Anyway, K forwarded my email to Decamouth, and we received Decamouth's reply today.
Decamouth basically forwarded an email from our sales representative, mentioning the area constraints, and confirmed new design requirements.

I spotted a calculation mistake from the rep's email, and it would cause the design requirement to be 40% larger than the original design instead. And I did not like the idea, where Decamouth obtain the confirmation from the sales rep, rather than from the end-user. I also hate the idea that Decamouth, who recently been promoted as a Regional Sales Manager, is in fact sitting there forwarding emails, even expecting the people in the HQ to feed him with "value added stuffs", so that he can get all the credits. I also can see where this email forward game would eventually lead to (I called it Decamouth Postal Services):

After the job is sold, customer found out that the item is under design. Decamouth would quickly point his finger to the HQ, and me. Because we designed it.
And if I could produce his email with the confirmation of design requirement, he would then change his position and point his finger to the sales rep, as the confirmation of design requirements were sent by the rep., instead of the customer.
If the rep. managed to dig out email, saying that it is indeed the customer's request, then Decamouth would just use that piece of evidence and point it right in front of the end-user.

In summary, he doesn't want to carry any responsibility, yet he gets to point the fingers to everyone but himself, when fault were found.

So, I clicked reply all, and said that there seemed to be some calculation error on the design requirements. And requested confirmation of design requirement from the end-user.

I want him to learn picking up some responsibilities, before I feel comfortable to let him take some credits. If the HQ can't produce the quotation on time, "and caused the company to lose the job" [quoted from Decamouth's email.], he should be responsible for not facilitating an efficient and transparent communication, at least.

Also, if there were any "value added stuffs" that is required, it would be Decamouth's summary of the long email chains, and his input on the sales strategies, instead of forwarding email blatantly. Shame on his Regional Sales Manager position.

some thoughts

I seldom watch movie, because when I watched them, they resurfaced the dark side of me.
North Country, Reviving Ophelia... the list goes on.
I feel stranded, even it happened a long long time ago.
I guess it takes time, especially when the wounds are buried deep.
At least I gathered myself quicker whenever I feel stranded now.

Expats and Foreign Workers

I was fumbling over youtube with my friend (he is in UK) the whole Sunday.
This is usually how I spent my weekends -- chatting with my friend.

There was a video we saw, showing the other side of Singapore, with poor and homeless people.
It reminded me of some experiences I had when supervising some constructions in Singapore.

We were constructing on top of one of the finance buildings in Singapore. That place is flooded with rich whites, bright brains and pretty gals. I would sit in front of the building, with my dirty boots, working pants, safety helmet and a huge backpack every morning with the rest of the construction workers, waiting for the building maintenance team to open the door for us to enter.

I looked at those pretty ladies, wearing high heels walking quick, following behind their white bosses, smiling away, chatting away on their mobile phones, punching away on the Blackberry keypads.... I also seen those guys, dressing smart, with suit and tie, shinny black leather shoes and bag, waxed hair and their sleek phones dashing across the crowd waiting eagerly in front of the shinny elevators... I felt so out of place.

When I got to know this group of contruction workers, they are mainly legal migrant workers, who most of them completed their tertiary educations. Some are even masters holder, with proper engineering and science degrees. But they came all the way to Singapore, to be a construction worker, and live like a beggar.

I remember the site supervisor told me that a little bar of soap from the hotel would bring a lot of happiness among the workers, as they can't even afford a bar of soap.

It was such an irony to me, those people who sit in the finance center, are called expats, they are legal foreign workers, who owned university degrees. They live in huge houses, have nice car and driver to send them to work...Their comfort in the building relies on these other batch of foreign workers, who are also legal migrant workers, who owned university degree, live in an apartment room that squeezed 9-10 fellas, fetched by a van driver every morning to work... at the same place.

Same qualifications, same human being, such different lives...

iPod Touch

I have been thinking of getting a birthday present for myself.
I don't know what I like.

I don't like cosmetics, not a fashionista, not a tech-savvy...
My list has gone from a pair of good hiking shoes... few months ago
to a Dilbert's everyday comic calendar... few weeks ago
to an iPod Touch... few days ago

I striked out the hiking shoes, because I hardly ever hike in Malaysia. None of the people around me likes outdoor activities in Malaysia, in fact. So I got to grow pounds and pounds of weights sitting around doing nothing.

Dilbert is cute, but I don't want the whole political office coming to my desk everyday to read the comics. Though that may be a good idea to initiate the conversation a little... but I am not looking forward to socialise a lot with a number of nosy geese in that office.

I am still trying to find a reason to get an iPod. I mean, I stopped listening to musics for ages, life in Malaysia has been too hectic to appreciate good musics. Though it seems cheap to buy movies, songs and books via iTunes in USA, it would be expensive when I bring it back to Malaysia. Besides, I don't have wifi at home, and internet connection in Malaysia sucks big time.

Stuck in the driver's position in the traffic jam does not grant me the freedom to surf net. Though I could listen to some musics, but it would bring it back to my first point -- expensive to purchase musics via iTunes from Malaysia.

The main reason I wanted to buy iPod Touch was because of the Facetime. But with the lousy internet connection in Malaysia, I seriously wonder if it works there. So it boils down to the feasibililty of utilising iPod Touch's capabilities when I brought it home in a few months time.

I guess my quest for the birthday present continues...

A wedding in early October + Self-esteem practise

Knew about this wedding since a few months ago.

So, I took the time to equip myself with the necessities -- gown, accessories, shoes etc. Also took the time to equip myself with the make up skills.

Anyway, the day had finally arrived yesterday. It took place at the golf course behind my apartment. I was so out of time, after spending one hour trying to put on the seemingly basic make up. I left the house in a rush without taking the phone and gps.

The wedding ceremony was great, and very pretty. There was some great selection of musics -- Bach's sleepers awake, Pachelbel's canon, Vivaldi's winter largo etc.

The reception was in a different location -- down town, where my gps is most needed. Anyway, I tailed the rest of the cars and managed to arrive safely. The dinner was simple and heart warming, the dance music were great.

I also got the bouquet... the fan is the wedding gift from the bride and groom.

I went to a course offered by the local college, called "Bullet-proof Self-Esteem", yesterday morning. Somehow found out that it is really ok to just stand up for yourself, and if I lose some friends because of that, it is ok.

So I practise it during the after dinner party. I was assumed into a position without knowing -- I offered to drive one of the guy, J, home because he was a little tipsy and we live close. So, when he said he wanted to spend some time at the after dinner party, I don't see any harm and agreed to drive there too.

But that idiot guy I mentioned in the previous entry (here)wanted to tag along, and he talked to J. J said ok, and I nodded, though having a bad feeling that something bad would happen. The idiot brought along a Thai guy.

The distance between the club and the wedding reception was 10 mins drive.

About 1 hour into the party, most of the married couples and J wanted to go home. I didn't know my way home, so though J said he would follow the rest of the married couples to leave, I was afraid that I wouldn't find my way home. And since I was feeling rather bored and tired, I preferred to go home too, as my initial attention wasn't to stay for the party for long.

But the idiot didn't tell me he is the pack leader. And the Thai guy assumed that I was the lead driver. They accused me for ruin the party, and wanted me to wait until they are done with the drinking. They said the lead driver should stay until the end.

I don't like people assuming me into the position, they didn't tell me that they want me to be the lead driver in the first place. If they want to be the pack leader, I think they should drive their own car, instead of hopping into someone else's car for convenience sake.

The usual me would just compromise and stayed unwillingly, go home late, and wasted my remaining weekend feeling tired and angry about myself. But I wanted to practise what i learned from the class, and I stood up for myself. I said, I have a commitment, and I am telling you guys my plans now, so that you can find an alternative way to go back to the dinner venue to get your cars later.

In my mind, 10 mins ride, they could easily get a taxi outside the club anyway. Downtown area is very happening during weekend nights, and lots of taxis parking there waiting for customers. But I was accused, and forced to apologise.

I apologise for ruining the party's atmosphere, and mentioned that I did not know that idiot was the pack leader, and I didn't know their plans either.

Eventually, the idiot agreed to follow me to my car and take their belongings, after he sorted his way back home. And I could leave early. Only then I realised, they actually wanted me to drive them home, instead of driving them back to the dinner venue to get the car.

I guess I learned my lesson -- instead of relying them to tell me the plan, which most of the time, they don't have one. I should tell them right away, that I don't plan to stay late.

Anyway, I guess it once again proof that I should just stay away from some people, who doesn't worth my effort to be nice. And I think I did fine standing up myself. Even though I upset a few people.

The incident reminded me a short conversation I had with an old acquaintance, while waiting for the other friend to arrive. She is an air hostess, and the other friend is a beauty pageant, compared to them, I am the most common one. The two of them seemed to have some tension, and while waiting, the air hostess told me, '... we are old enough now, we should be able to choose our friends wisely. Unlike when we were young, we tend to compromise ourselves to fit in with others.'

In a way, it actually means, if you can't get along with that person, we are old enough not to waste too much of your life to be bothered by it and move forward.

It reminded me, when we were young, we tend to speak what we want without much thinking, yet we managed to get some good friends. Why can't we do it now? I am glad to have found a few friends that are comfortable with me in my own skin.

American pronunciation

I brought a bottle of home made peanut butter cookies to work the other day. The cookies are very small, like the size of the thumb nail, I filled them into the Nutella bottle.

When I put down the bottle on the common area, my colleague thought I brought some Nutella chocolate cookies.

"Oh, Nutella cookies!" I heard them saying 'Nu-tella', where 'Nu' as the Greek alphabet 'Nu'.
I was puzzled, because I have always been reading it as 'Nut-tella', because it is made of hazzle nuts. The way the American pronounce it, it is so nerd, kinda made me felt that I would be a nerdy nut, if I eat Nutella in America.

Anyway, it is just the American ways of reading stuffs, such as:
Route - US version "Raot"; rest of the world "Root"
Multi - US version "Mao-thai"; rest of the world "Mao-tee"
Anti - US version "An-tie"; rest of the world "An-tee"

I guess the list could grow longer...

By the way, I joinned the Toast Master's club, and made my Ice-breaker's speech today. Awarded with the best speaker, and got to keep the little 6 inches trophy for two weeks until our next meeting. Will upload the photos later.