A wedding in early October + Self-esteem practise

Knew about this wedding since a few months ago.

So, I took the time to equip myself with the necessities -- gown, accessories, shoes etc. Also took the time to equip myself with the make up skills.

Anyway, the day had finally arrived yesterday. It took place at the golf course behind my apartment. I was so out of time, after spending one hour trying to put on the seemingly basic make up. I left the house in a rush without taking the phone and gps.

The wedding ceremony was great, and very pretty. There was some great selection of musics -- Bach's sleepers awake, Pachelbel's canon, Vivaldi's winter largo etc.

The reception was in a different location -- down town, where my gps is most needed. Anyway, I tailed the rest of the cars and managed to arrive safely. The dinner was simple and heart warming, the dance music were great.

I also got the bouquet... the fan is the wedding gift from the bride and groom.

I went to a course offered by the local college, called "Bullet-proof Self-Esteem", yesterday morning. Somehow found out that it is really ok to just stand up for yourself, and if I lose some friends because of that, it is ok.

So I practise it during the after dinner party. I was assumed into a position without knowing -- I offered to drive one of the guy, J, home because he was a little tipsy and we live close. So, when he said he wanted to spend some time at the after dinner party, I don't see any harm and agreed to drive there too.

But that idiot guy I mentioned in the previous entry (here)wanted to tag along, and he talked to J. J said ok, and I nodded, though having a bad feeling that something bad would happen. The idiot brought along a Thai guy.

The distance between the club and the wedding reception was 10 mins drive.

About 1 hour into the party, most of the married couples and J wanted to go home. I didn't know my way home, so though J said he would follow the rest of the married couples to leave, I was afraid that I wouldn't find my way home. And since I was feeling rather bored and tired, I preferred to go home too, as my initial attention wasn't to stay for the party for long.

But the idiot didn't tell me he is the pack leader. And the Thai guy assumed that I was the lead driver. They accused me for ruin the party, and wanted me to wait until they are done with the drinking. They said the lead driver should stay until the end.

I don't like people assuming me into the position, they didn't tell me that they want me to be the lead driver in the first place. If they want to be the pack leader, I think they should drive their own car, instead of hopping into someone else's car for convenience sake.

The usual me would just compromise and stayed unwillingly, go home late, and wasted my remaining weekend feeling tired and angry about myself. But I wanted to practise what i learned from the class, and I stood up for myself. I said, I have a commitment, and I am telling you guys my plans now, so that you can find an alternative way to go back to the dinner venue to get your cars later.

In my mind, 10 mins ride, they could easily get a taxi outside the club anyway. Downtown area is very happening during weekend nights, and lots of taxis parking there waiting for customers. But I was accused, and forced to apologise.

I apologise for ruining the party's atmosphere, and mentioned that I did not know that idiot was the pack leader, and I didn't know their plans either.

Eventually, the idiot agreed to follow me to my car and take their belongings, after he sorted his way back home. And I could leave early. Only then I realised, they actually wanted me to drive them home, instead of driving them back to the dinner venue to get the car.

I guess I learned my lesson -- instead of relying them to tell me the plan, which most of the time, they don't have one. I should tell them right away, that I don't plan to stay late.

Anyway, I guess it once again proof that I should just stay away from some people, who doesn't worth my effort to be nice. And I think I did fine standing up myself. Even though I upset a few people.

The incident reminded me a short conversation I had with an old acquaintance, while waiting for the other friend to arrive. She is an air hostess, and the other friend is a beauty pageant, compared to them, I am the most common one. The two of them seemed to have some tension, and while waiting, the air hostess told me, '... we are old enough now, we should be able to choose our friends wisely. Unlike when we were young, we tend to compromise ourselves to fit in with others.'

In a way, it actually means, if you can't get along with that person, we are old enough not to waste too much of your life to be bothered by it and move forward.

It reminded me, when we were young, we tend to speak what we want without much thinking, yet we managed to get some good friends. Why can't we do it now? I am glad to have found a few friends that are comfortable with me in my own skin.