My uneventful wedding

My traditional wedding ceremony was held on Tuesday, 13 December, 2011.
It happened my husband's neighbour also had a funeral on the same day.
With the Chinese tradition, we tried to avoid the funeral traffic by having a quick tea ceremony on the bride's house, before leaving to the groom's house (approx. 1 hour by car).
In the end, we managed to avoid the funeral team, who left the neighbour's house slightly after we entered the groom's house.

My wedding banquet was held on Friday, 16 December, 2011.
I started the day by rushing back to my house to collect the dinner gown -- which is my mom's wedding gown.

I then rushed to the bridal shop for make up etc., but was faced with pouring thunderstorm on my way, which caused flash flood in the city center. I was forced to take routes that I have never taken before, risking of getting lost, in order to reach to the bridal shop on time.

Half way through preparing myself in the bridal shop, I received a phone call from the restaurant manager telling me that they have electrical failure at the venue. That was 2.5 hours before the dinner starts. I asked if they have enough generator sets for back up, the manager said alright, she also promised that the blackout will be fixed in 2 hours time. I also found out that the electrical breakdown occurred since 11.30am that day. If they can't get it fixed since 5 hours ago, I doubt they could get it fixed in the next 2 hours time, but I can only trust the manager's word without any choice.

i reached the venue just before 6pm, changed into my mom's wedding gown in the dark, and started helping in setting up the cocktail food prepared by my husband's relatives. There was still no electricity, it seemed to me that they did not prepare the gen-set early enough, and had trouble connecting them. I also found out that the electricity blackout has a chained effect -- pumps not running, that means no water in toilet, kitchen can't cook the dinner.

Guests started coming around 6.30pm, and all well sat by around 7.30pm. My husband's side was furious with the slow response of the M&E team on fixing the issue. The restaurant manager prepared a few portable coolers, and I was busy walking around making sure people are aware of the cocktail, hoping that the food will keep them occupied, and lined the stomachs with some cold beers, that they would have less complaints.

We had a tea ceremony with my grandma and uncle, they couldn't make it for the actual wedding ceremony, and was travelling from out of state to attend the dinner.

While everyone was melting and munching away the limited home-made cocktail food, the M&E team finally managed to connect the gen-set. With my brother's help, we quickly set up the PA system to broadcast the wedding march.

The dinner finally started at 8.30pm.

Due to the government regulations for organising social events passed midnight, the dishes brought to the tables were rushed. Our greetings to each table was brief, and wasn't able to spend enough time with our much cherished friends and relatives.

While we were greeting from table to table, I had a bad cramp on my legs resulted from my high heels. I am not used to wearing high heels for long hours, and was forced to take out the shoes.

By the time we finished greeting each table, guests already started leaving. We then went straight to sending people off at the door.

The entire event went through very quick, I was unable to find out from people how they felt about the dinner. Thanks to my husband's uncle, who fought for us for discounts on the banquet due to the mishaps, we managed to get some discounts from the restaurant manager.

In the end, I was glad that my much-liked wedding march music was played. We chose George Frideric Handel's See, the Conqu'ring Hero Comes March from Judas Maccabaeus. I am also glad that the dining music that I have prepared long ago was played over the dinner, though I doubt many people would pay attention to it.

Last but not least, I woke up the next day with a burning sensation in my eyes. After visiting the doctor, it seems that it was resulted from tiredness, make up chemicals went into the eyes, and contact lenses.

I guess with the incident of cramp legs from high heels, and the painfully-teary-red eyes from the beautifying products, it is concluded that I am just not feminine enough to be a lady that I would like to be. Nonetheless, I think at this age, I should just accept myself for who I am, and am glad that I have a small group of friends who appreciate me for who I am. I am glad that they showed their supports and participation over this uneventful banquet by staying and patiently trusting that the event would eventually turn out fine.

I am sure not many people had attended a blackout dinner like this, so on the positive side, I guess people would remember my wedding dinner as an out-of-ordinary one. :-)

Marriage

I am ill with flu, tired with pimplish face and panda eyes.
I wonder if I really want to go down the path of getting married.

I am stressful everyday with work, and night with life after marriage.

I guess I don't know who I am marrying after all, or perhaps I am just having some pre-marriage syndrome.

Happy Birthday 2011

It is my birthday today, it is a Thanksgiving day.
I took a day off work, because I don't want to be surrounded by the nonsense in the office on my birthday.

This time last year, I bought myself two pieces of cakes and a coffee from a Starbucks in Manhattan. I was travelling in a train in New York, heading to my colleague's house. I was preparing for the Thanksgiving dinner for the next day with my colleague.

This birthday, I woke up late in the morning, quarrelled with my mom and went shopping with her, and spent the rest of my day writing and sending wedding invitation cards.

Over the past year I
... drove in the snow for the first time.
... scraped the snow and ice off my car the first time.
... visited automated car-wash the first time.
... had an amazing experience in the US.
... found out I have some relatives in the US.
... sold my car for the first time.
... left US and returned to Malaysia.
... said good-bye to the best boss I ever had -- Mr. Porche.
... joinned Mr. Porche on a very fruitful field inspection in Kuala Langat.
... received my Engineering Chartership title.
... gave a lecture as a guest the first time. Though the attendance rate wasn't good due to the date chosen was before a long holiday -- most students had left to their home town.
... had my first car accident.
... successfully grown my own passion fruit.
... took shower in LA and HK airport. Nothing to boast about, but I thought it was cool to shower while on the move.
... pierced my ears.
... went for facial for the first time.
... went to Vietnam and China for the first time.
... conducted the first product performance acceptance test on my own.
... met a crazy couple, but also met a lot of good people.
... got married.
... experienced the pre-wedding photo shooting session.
... resigned and stupidly retracted my resignation due to trusting the vague words from the HR, without negotiation.
... ended 2010 after dining with friends and wines.
... started 2011 in a fresh, chilly, beautiful morning, and spent the first day writing my 2011 goals.

It is hard to believe that I was still on the other side of the globe, walking in thick snow and ice, driving the 2nd-hand 2008 silvery Corolla in the beginning of the year. And now, I am in this warm and humid place, driving my little pearly 2008-fresh-from-factory Myvi, which ironically costs more than that Corolla.

There is about one month left for 2011, these are the goals I listed for this year. I still have about a month to make it up...

1. Complete my Engineering Chartership.
    Done, got that in July.
2. Work towards a promotion or pay increment.
    Done, I had a increment upon returning to the office at the beginning of the year.
3. Steer my career direction towards project management, in order to gain some exposure in project finance control.
    Failed, because our office do not have this position anymore. And my contributions in my cross-functional role has not been taken in well.
4. Hold my values close to my heart when facing office bullies.
    I think I am doing fair on this, except I missed a couple of chances of speaking out by staying quiet.
5. Learn to relax.
    I didn't do well in this, because I am not having quality rests due to various reasons.
6. Find a venue that is safe for me to exercise at least 2 times a week.
    I registered myself to the gym, visited it 3 times a week during the first 5 months, and only once a week over the past two months.
7. Find a wedding dress.
    Done. Will be wearing my mom's.
8. Giving myself a small reward once a month, for the hard work I have done.
    So far so good, it takes money to reward myself, and I haven't been watching my budget well, so I wasn't able to reward myself for quite some time. I guess taking a day off on my birthday is a kind of reward.

I think I should start planning for next year. It will be difficult to set a goal, as I will be living with my husband and mother in law...

Thinking back those good memories I had in US, the nonsense in the Malaysia office now and the uncertainties that awaits me at the life after marriage, I am not feeling positive on this birthday, at times like this, I recall Mr. Porche's words before he left --
You are good enough as who you are. You need to be confident in your own skin, know what you want and work your way there, you will do fine.

Eventful week

Friday 18th Nov. was supposed to be my last day of work. But things happened on the Tuesday, when the HR Director from China called and had a long chat with me.

She said changes are on the way for this office, and she asked me to give it 6 months. Though doubtful of what could be done, I guess I should give her words a fair chance, so I agreed to stay for another 6 months, i.e. work until the end of May 2012.

After agreeing to that, I felt like an idiot, because I have conducted a hand-over session with Decamouth, said good-bye to many colleagues across the global offices, etc.Some reps. actually heard my departure news from the MD, and verified it with me. I was so looking forward to be released, but I guess I got to retract all my good-bye's with everyone now.

On Wednesday, I received a crystal article from a Taiwan rep. for my wedding. It was sent under his personal name, but it was sent to our office. So it stirred up a bit of discussion on whether or not I should accept this gift, given that he is our rep. and I am supporting him technically.

The China HR director said I shouldn't keep it, our MD said we should. Eventually I kept it, and called the rep. to explain the situation has changed, that I will now stay with the company.

Meanwhile, as I already submitted my resignation for more than a month, I have made plans for the rest of the year. Having the HR spoken to me this late, somehow shows me the efficiency of this company. Anyway, some of my plans can be re-scheduled, some can't.

Going for Alan Tam's concert was one of the fixed arrangements, it was on 19 Nov. 2011. I planned to take it as a celebration for leaving the company. And since this is the first time I attended a concert, I also treated it as a farewell to my young days, because after the marriage ceremony in December, I am no longer a free person.

Alan Tam wasn't one of my favourite singer during my teenage days, in fact, I don't really have an idol. But his songs are so darn popular, you can't avoid them at all.

I still remember those days when I used to squat next to the huge radio, pay a lot of attention to the weekly chart title, wait patiently for the song I like... when it come out, I would press the record button and stay very still until the end of the song, so that I won't record some other noise. I would curse the person who continued to speak when the song had already started. I listened to radio on the bus, while studying late etc.

Alan's songs last night brought back a lot of memories, I thought I wouldn't have much emotions attached to a singer that I didn't pay too much attention, but I was wrong. It was the memories that attached to those songs, significant or not, it brought tears when I heard it again last night.

Most of the audiences in the concert last night are about my age, Alan's songs are collective memories for all of us around this age. I may be a little old for screaming and waving the neon light bar, singing along all night long, but heck, I paid RM300 for event like this, shouldn't I be relaxing myself and enjoying the atmosphere?

Despite the traffic and the rain, I enjoyed the concert well. Brought back the neon bar, I like its simplistic design,will put it in the car, it would be useful when having some issue with the car at night at the highway.

Pitera Power

My wedding is around the corner, yet I haven't started my beauty treatment, slimming treatment etc. I guess it is too late now.

Anyway, I went to have a facial session the other day, and got my entire face covered with pimple scars. My friend were anxious looking at those scars, and she brought me to Parkson to shop for some solutions. We dropped by SKII counter, and the lady did a simple tests on my face using some roller/scanner thing.

It turned out that I have got 3 out of 5 "D" in SKII's term. However all these 3D's aren't scoring well (slightly above the average readings.)

As I had been using SKII's miracle water ages ago (stopped for 1-2 years because I was too lazy), I picked that up again in order to sooth those deep pimple marks on my face.

One week after using the miracle water, most of those scars disappeared! I can't believe my eyes, it seems like the Pitera is really doing something. I do not have any "before" and "after" photos to share, because I didn't take any photos when I was covered with pimple scars.

Sometimes I guess women need to spend some money to keep ourselves looking good, in order to feel good. In my case, I only want to get the oil out of my face. Otherwise I should start researching into harvesting the oil from my face, and who knows, may be I can compete with Petronas? @_@

Last day for Mr. Porche

Today is the last day for Mr. Porche in our office. He spent the morning cleaning up his office room, most of the afternoon briefing Decamouth on some projects, and hanging around.

I was quite busy today, and forgotten about the lunch. By lunch time, England called me to go out for lunch, I accepted it without second thoughts. Before I knew it, Decamouth, Azreal and England actually planned to go out together for lunch. Though felt hesitate, I didn't know why I didn't refuse. I regreted for not declining the lunch, as I felt really bad for not having the last lunch with Porche.

Porche handed his company car back to the car rental person, and I sent him home at 5pm. I felt like crying while seeing him shaking hands with everyone on his way out. We didn't speak much on the short journey from the office to his apartment. It was the first time and last time I held my boss and said thank you.

I feel as if a portion of my heart was frozen, that I don't know how to react to his departure. I should have asked him for lunch the last time, should have said something more meaningful than just a "thank you" as my last word. I didn't even say good bye. I couldn't look into his eyes, as I am afraid that my tears would come out, I held the tears well and smiled well, until I drove out of his apartment drop off area. I still remember the sky was gloomy, it started drizzling.

He has been a very respectable and professional boss throughout the time we worked together. He taught me a lot of things. He was like a mentor than a boss. I miss him a lot, and am very sad to see him leaving.

Although he will be joinning our distribution agent in Australia, but I will be leaving the company soon, so this is really a departure, there is no more chance for us to work together again.

Mirror Image

Decamouth is now getting closer to the day when he can be called a senior technical manager, and sitting in a room with window.

While Mr. Ciggy is away for this week, Decamouth was complaining about Ciggy's work attitude. He commented about Ciggy's lack of ownership, lack of initiative, reluctant to take advices and mistakes he made due to overseeing things.

I agree that Ciggy has a lot of rooms for improvements, but he is only joinning us for less than a year, we really can't expect him to be perfect and not making mistakes. Having mistakes is the only way he could learn.

However, hearing how Decamouth complained about Ciggy, it was as if Decamouth didn't even realise he is making the same mistakes despite being with the company for more than 4 years.

He is too reluctant to take ownership to his work, lack of initiatives, reluctant to take advices and blame others for his mistakes. He even takes credits from others, and manipulate information to make others bear his blame, while he could look good to the upper management.

I was laughing when he was complaining, this is what we called pot calling the kettle black.

I only have less than a month to go, and certainly won't miss these kind of nonsense in this office.

Perverty Decamouth

We have our regular all staff meeting on every Monday morning.
This week there isn't a lot of people, as there is a public holiday, and some of us make use of it by taking vacations before/after the holiday to make it a long weekend.

With less people sitting around the meeting table, Ms. Grumpy was sitting between me and Decamouth by chance. She was wearing a long sleeve V-neck blouse that day. For some reason, the V-neck opening revealed the rim of her bra, I could see it clearly from my side, sitting on the Ikea foldable chair.

At the same time, I also noticed Decamouth who sat on the proper meeting chair (higher than the Ikea chairs that myself and Grumpy was sitting), can't kept his eyes away from Grumpy's chest.

Decamouth started by leaning against the meeting table. Not long after he noticed her blouse, he slowly backed away from the table, his chair was moving further and further away from the table, up to a point that he could have a better view.

I kept looking at Decamouth, but despite my glares, it didn't stop him from peeping. I then recalled Grumpy and England told me about Decamouth's new Omega watch and diamond rings, and how he felt uncomfortable when people looked at those things on his hands. So I spotted his diamond rings, and kept looking at his rings. Pretty sparkling diamond ring, and a glowing wedding band.

Decamouth noticed that I paid attention to his rings, and tried to hide it away by folding his arms and moving about. I wasn't really interested in his accessories, but was relieved that it took his focus away from Grumpy.

I learned from Grumpy and England later during the day that this is not the first time Decamouth behaved this way...

What a man...

My Passion Fruits

There is this house at the end of the street, who has grown a very large crop of passion fruit. They built a frame so huge, it became their porch at the gate entrance.

Everyone was so amazed by those red and green fruits hanging down from the porch, and we took a branch from that house and started growing our own passion fruit. This happened about one and a half year ago.

My mom got it, but didn't pay attention to the plant, it took forever to grow. Until recently we found out that passion fruit plant is actually "hungry" at all times. We need to feed it with lots of nutrients.

So instead of using chemical fertilisers, I pour the "enzyme" I made ages ago, and saw instant transformation to that skinny cripplish plant. It grew real fast, in a few months time it already spread all over the place and started giving flowers.



I really like the flowers, they have this real meaty pedals, with long and purple-ish tentacles. It looks so strangely beautiful, it looks like some alien flower.



See the green passion fruit at the back?

We thought when the flower dies, it would turn into fruit by itself. The first 3 passion fruits appeared by chance in July, which was 4 months after we started pouring the ever organic "enzyme". It takes 3 months from flower to ripe fruit.

Unfortunately we didn't know we need to exchange the pollens among different flowers, so it kinda wasted a few weeks having all the pretty flowers blooming and dying for no reasons. At peak time, we had like 10-12 flowers in a day!

Upon finding out the secret of turning the flower into fruit, I had a part time job as a "bee", busy "breeding" the passion fruit everyday. While "breeding" the plant, I found that the passion fruit actually has some tiny hair grown on the skin, it felt so smooth and tense like a teenage girl's face. I also didn't know how to manage the plant, so having some hard time trying to manage the wild crop.



It has been more than 3 months since we saw the first batch of fruit, it turned red and we plucked it and eat it fresh. It tasted very good.

Now my hardwork over the past few months has started to pay off, I see some fruit turning red now.



It is very rewarding to grow your own plant and harvest from it.

I can't wait to see how the plant would turn out come December on my wedding day. I imagined all the round and green passion fruit would turn pinkish red, like some lantern hanging down from the rack. I think it would be delightful.

Vietnam fun

Wanted to post this for a long time, but was pre-occupied with nonsensical stuffs.

I went to Vietnam recently for work, and had a chance to experience Vietnam briefly, here are some highlights which I thought are pretty cute:

1. TV dramas are dubbed to Vietnamese language, but female characters and male characters are both dubbed with a deep male voice. -___- It kills the steam, when the female is a hot babe...

2. The electrical wiring along the roadside is a piece of art, that perhaps only a few modern artists could appreciate.

3. The motorcyclist helmets are damn pretty, forget about the safety perspect -- some are made of cloths.

4. Main road traffic is 100x worse than the traffic in Malaysia -- practically surrounded by motorcyclists.

5. Vietnamese driving skills are superb, because despite having a Lexus or Audi surrounded in the sea of motorcyclists, their car has no scratch marks.

6. The road is more wavy than the river.

7. Health and safety regulations are pretty lose there.

8. I saw some real kick-ass-ly huge factories... in fact the one I went took me more than 30 mins walk (quick walk) from one end to the center road in the factory, and is considered small factory.

9. Regretted for not able to try some local Vietnam food.

10. Vietnam's economic is amazingly lively.

More politics

After my resignations, I wrote to my ex-bosses in the US office, thanked them for their effort training me, and apologised for letting them down for I am leaving the company.

One of them wrote back and asked me for the reason to leave. As I replied the email, I told him that the MD rejected my initiatives to pick up on other roles (sales or operational) and I felt there is no longer any prospect for me in the office. My technical role in this office has been stagnant since I came back from US.

I also wrote about the nonsense with the HR, for delaying my company hospitalisation plan for nearly 6 months, while I was travelling to various jobsites without coverage.

The reason I wrote that is because I didn't want to be misunderstood for leaving because Decamouth, instead of myself, was promoted to the Technical Manager position.

This news eventually got to the president, and back to our MD. The MD called me to his office on Friday afternoon, and we had a long chat on this. He painted me a very promising career future, but when I asked for the timeline for these things to materialise, he couldn't say a word. He asked me to give his words a good thought, and give him a reply on Monday.

I felt as if I was presented with Monet's drawing of the lily pond, but there isn't a route to access to that pretty lily pond.

I only had one condition, which was not to report directly to Decamouth. This can be easily done, as my job scope is currently overlapping the sales, the operational and technical. In fact, even Porche the current technical manager doesn't interfere with my work -- we take care of different product lines.

The MD could easily put me under operational (Cockroach) than in technical (Porche/Decamouth).

I felt that the MD was fooling with me by telling me a (possible) good prospect of my career, without a concrete plan for the office and without addressing my concern.

I rejected him this week, and finally the MD said something that proves me right -- Decamouth have been influencing the MD, and he succeeded.

He asked me what's the problem between myself and Decamouth, I said I find Decamouth is a person that do not deal with things fairly and not transparent. He then stood on Decamouth's side and said that I have pushed back some of the tasks to him, and asked him to deal with it himself. (I don't think it has anything to do with fairness and transparent with this claim.)

As far as I remembered, I only did that once, as I was busy dealing with some other more prioritised projects at that time. While his request was well within his capability to handle, I left him with adequate information to move forward.

It seems that he took that opportunity to back stab me, and the MD apparently stood on his side. In fact, this is not the first time the MD brought out this same incident.

I told the MD that I have not been mentioning anything in particular about Decamouth until today, which made his argument of "listening to both sides" during our discussion unjustified, and led me thinking that he has some favouritism going on.

With this in mind, I think there is no reason for me to speak further, as the MD has tuned his channel to listen to some, and has refused to make alternative arrangement for my request, despite my few suggestions. I firmly rejected his request for reconsidering the resignation, and said it loud and clear -- I do not report to a boss who is unfair and not transparent. I would rather face the unknown future than walking down a cul-de-sac.

Meanwhile, England also spoken to me over the lunch today about Decamouth's conversation with her. She said Decamouth claimed that I wrote to the US HQ about not wanting to report to him, and have talked bad about this office. Decamouth also said that he thought what I did was disrespectful to the management in this office.

I laughed, because he thought too highly of himself, I did not mention a word of him. Also, whether it is disrespectful to the office or not, while the management of this office is incapable of dealing with the inefficiencies here, I think I am doing the right thing for revealing the truth.

I also think that Decamouth got the information from the MD, and he is under some pressure, since myself and England has approached the MD at different time to ask for not reporting to Decamouth.

Nonetheless, I hope that by revealing the dynamics of this office, it would help improving the operations in the future.

Resignation

The internet in the office was down the entire day, it was both the problem with our service provider, and our server being too old.

We have wasted the entire morning until about 2.30pm, before our HR manager said that we can go home early.

During the whole morning I went out to buy envelops, configured my laptop to connect directly to the printer and printed my resignation letters, signed, gave one to Porche before lunch, and to MD and HR after lunch.

Porche knew I was going to leave anyway, he gave me his recommendation letter. The MD was rather surprised that I would turn in my resignation, and was in a denial phase. He seemed to have forgotten what he told me last time. He also twisted some of the conversations we had. Anyway, he said to me a couple of times, "You are making a wrong decision."

I told him eventually, "Right or wrong, it is my decision."

He did not say anything, I left the room to pass a copy of the letter to the HR. The HR did not ask anything, and at the same time Azreal went into her room for some other things, I am very sure they talked about my resignation.

I feel sad for leaving the company, when I first send my letter to Porche, my hands were shaking. I have put in a lot of effort to my work, in order have the knowledge of what I have today. But there aren't any need for me anymore. I guess to certain extend, Porche would feel more disheartening than me. He has been with the company for more than 10 years, and the office just doesn't need any heavy duty technical support anymore -- it has turned into a pure sales office.

Anyway, despite all the nonsense in the office, I am finally leaving. I just need to count down to my last day of service, and start looking for a job.

Far away in Vietnam

I am now in Vietnam, doing some trivial tests for the rest of the week, thanks to Decamouth's lack of coordination.

I got a message from Decamouth earlier today, asking me to change my email Automatic Reply by taking away "... For technical related matters, please contact our Sr. Technical Manager, Mr. Decamouth (decamouth@company.com)"

I changed the Automatic Reply as he requested.

Apparently, he stated that the news has not bee officially announced externally.

I was like, bloody hell, the MD already made this announcement to us, without telling us his responsibilities, any possible change to us who report to him, nor that this news is only an internal announcement.

I seriously do not understand the operating philosophy or motto behind this company, or this office. If the news are not made official yet, why didn't our MD mention about it?

I later found out that some of our notorious reps. (who require a lot of spoon feeding in technical issues) had contacted him on various issue, and the questions went beyond his head. I am quite happy to see it turned out this way, but on the other hand, I also know that once I get back to the office next week, my work load would pile up real high, with extremely short time to work on them.

Sigh...

Change of tide

We have been seeing Decamouth still hanging around in the company after his "unofficial last day of service".

The Dark Side (Decamouth, HR, Azreal, Cockroach) didn't mention a word when we asked when would there be a farewell for Decamouth.

On Monday this week, the MD gathered myself, Mr. Experience, Ms England, Porche and Decamouth before the weekly staff meeting, under the witness of our HR, announced to us that Porche will be leaving us migrating to Australia, we will start reporting to Decamouth once Porche has left. There was no mention of any change of reponsibilities etc., instead both the MD and Porche turned to me and asked "Do you have any questions?"

Though I knew Porche would leave eventually, but I stoned out when I found out Decamouth would be my boss. I said "nothing" with an expressionless face. I was very disappointed at the decision for many reasons.

It was later announced over the weekly staff meeting that Decamouth would be the senior technical manager, it was an even larger joke to me -- Decamouth was promoted to even higher rank than Porche. There was still no mention of the responsibilities.

England, myself and Experience had lunch that afternoon, and we weren't having any appetite at all. They all asked if I am disappointed for not being promoted to Porche's position, and were doubtful of Decamouth's technical competence as a sr. technical manager.

I had been acknowledged by many colleagues in Malaysia and USA, even by Porche in front of me, to be the technical manager after he left the position, since long time ago. I stated the fact that Porche is a capable leader that I still have a long way to go to reach to that level. In fact, I don't think anyone in this office, including myself could fit his role well. May be if we combined all three of us (Experience, England and myself) as a unity, we could be on par with Porche.

I was disappointed not because of not being promoted. I understood the reason they promoted Decamouth -- this office is no longer needing any technical people, they need someone who has some sales knowledge, little technical understanding, some finance sights to help the MD.

Both myself and Decamouth has worked across departments before, I worked in sales, engineering and project at executive level; while he was in both project and sales as manager level. He has a head start as a manager and is really sly in making his way up the managements. So, it is not all together surprising that he got the promotion.

Over the entire week, he has been trying to exercise his power by coming to me to show off his limited knowledge on the products and general engineering understandings. He tried to lured me to manipulate the engineering data without any grounds. He failed.

He pushed me to go to Vietnam to do an equipment testing without any information given, that pushed my button. I couldn't reject, because I am the only person that could do the test now. He then further pushed me to have an ad-hoc training to Mr Ciggy, and have it conducted in the trainning room with the optional presence of himself and the MD, while I was busy preparing for the ever short noticed equipment test.

The session lasted 2 hours, as the case we took on was not well prepared by Ciggy, and we ended up making lots of clarification phone calls to the client to understand the selling situations, yet there was still no resolution, as the client needed some time to clarify some of the issues. I was utterly pissed for wasting my time during this crucial preparation stage.

I have been disatisfied with various things going on in this office for long, now that I need to report to a boss whose strength is to bully, take credits and feeling inferior towards me, I do not want to risk my hard-earned good name for this kind of person.

Myself and England went to spoke to the MD at separate times, that we do not want to report directly to Decamouth. I also brought out my constant request to work as a sales, but the MD said he does not have the luxury for me to sharpen my sales skills. I found that unfair, as it is more difficult for Decamouth to sharpen his technical skills than me sharpen my sales skills. Not to mention the phone calls I received from various reps. all these while that complained about his lack of sincerity in sales. But of course, Decamouth doesn't need to sharpen his technical skills, he just need to push all of them to me, England and Experience.

I said to the MD I would rather quit and hunt for jobs later, than reporting to Decamouth. The MD said he would like to talk to me in details and will schedule a meeting with me.

I waited the whole week, he didn't take any initiatives, instead instructing Decamouth to push me further. I have mentioned what I told the MD to my previous bosses in the US. I also discussed with Porche.

Porche asked me to build my case and put my own interests first, he also offered to write me a recommendation letter.

I feel very sad for leaving the company, as I really love those things that this company is doing -- not in this office. I also feel sorry for disappointing the expectations and efforts from all those respectable people that I worked with before. But I can't help to feel the stupidity that happens in this office is such a joke when I compare it with how the US headquarters are striving hard to achieve higher and have really mature and transparent operations.

Thinking of the offer the MD made a while ago -- he offered me to leave on my will, it was an easy exit for me, from serving those lack of challenge or so called technical requests. I didn't think I have a good reason to take the offer then, I guess I have now.

My experience with slimming center

I have been feeling bad about my lower part of the body since young, and since I am getting married end of this year, I thought I should put in some effort to make myself look a little better. Since I have never been able to wear pretty dresses because of my body size.

So, I walked into one of the famous slimming center in town, which have been endorsed by various Hong Kong actresses.

Upon walking in, the lady was desperate in making the sale, she brought me into this consultation room, and asked me to strip off my clothes. I dislike the way I was asked, as she was sitting down, crossing her legs, and her tone was like giving commands. No one feels natural stripping in front of a stranger, though I still keep my undergarments, I felt uneasy.

She took my measurements after that, and I realised she made up my measurements when she filled in the cards. My waist and hip measurements were added two extra inches between the measurement belt reading and the consultation card. My weight was added a few more pounds too. She thought I wasn't aware of it, and thought not many people would be sensitive to pounds and ounces in this SI unit country. She was messing with the wrong people here.

After taking the measurements, she started introducing the slimming treatments that are "suitable for me". She tried explaning how the slimming treatment works scientifically, but again, she was messing with the wrong person here. She clearly didn't do her homework, when she is selling their hottest product -- radio frequency and infra-red treatments. She can't even tell the frequency that the waves could penetrate the skin, and at what level the reaction would take place -- these things are all over Google. But given that she is not a technical person, I didn't want to catch her.

Total up all the treatments, I was quoted RM 66,000! She quickly said it was a list price and she could give me a discount by phoning her manager (so much like those car sales men I met in Kansas!). She came back and gave me a discount, the discounted price was RM 23,000.

She then pushed me to make decision on the spot, and when I explained that I didn't know I have to make payment or decision on the first consultation, she threatened me that the price will not be the same when I visit next time etc. (It stated clearly in their website, that the clients are given the freedom to make their decision after the first free consultation)

She even asked me to use my ATM card to go to the banks outside the shop to take money for down payment. I refused, but she didn't allow me to leave the consultation room and kept offering other products that are not relevant to me, but lower price, so that I could swipe my credit card.

She also tried to attack my self-esteem by critising how bad my body looks, and how badly I need those treatments. I felt rather hurt there.

I eventually said I wanted to call my husband for opinion cause it involved a lot of money, and I increased the phone volume (so that she could hear what he said), and purposely asked him some bimbo questions to make him angry. Of course the plot works, and I managed to get out of the consultation room by saying that my husband is against the slimming package.

I guess the 23k quotation gave me a good slap on the face, and that I am wide awake now, knowing that I have to learn to accept my body. I exercise regularly and have healthy meals, I took good care of myself, so I just have to accept whatever that was inherited to me. Sad but there is really no shortcuts in life.

If I were to have that amount of cash to be given out at one go like that, I would prefer to use them at places that are more worth it.

Decamouth is leaving

Rumour was true, our MD had announced to us on Monday that Decamouth will be leaving us in mid of September.

Aparently, Decamouth had submitted his resignation letter right after Old England has returned to our office. Everyone else knew about his departure except the people in this office, I mean myself, Porche, Mr. Experience, Ms. Grumpy and Old England.

For the MD, HR, Azreal, Cockroach, the finance lady and Mr. Ciggy, they already knew about Decamouth's plan. Even our agents, our colleagues in the US HQ knew about his departure. I am not sure why it was kept a secret to us when the rest of the world already knew about it.

We do not know where he would be going, don't know why he wants to leave. Most of us guessed he failed to use the resignation to bargain for better pay.

The new sales chap, let's call him Mr. Ciggy (he is a chain smoker), will be the only sales person we have in the office.

The office will be rather imbalance with one sales person versus 5 support staffs. Despite being a new employee and a manager, Mr. Ciggy is not a keen learner. I hope he is smart enough to stop taking short cuts and put some effort in learning about the products he is selling, otherwise it would only bring suffer to himself and everyone supporting him.

Ramadan Traffic

There is a total traffic breakdown in Malaysia every once a year, for an entire month due to Ramadan -- the fasting month before the Muslim new year.

The traffic built up for several reasons:
1. Typically during fasting month Muslims get off work earlier (30mins - 1 hour) before the normal working hour. So by the time the normal rush hour comes, the road is already filled with cars. (In case you wonder, Malaysia has more than 60% of Muslim populations.)

2. There are lots of temporary food bazaar set up for the entire month for people to buy food on their way home. This usually takes place in some empty field or common carparks, so people park their cars all over the places to get into the bazaar.

3. The government has been expanding the residential areas without upgrading the roads. Public transports routes and stations are not planned properly.

4. Flash flood whenever rain visits, pouring or drizzling.

My normal one way journey between home and office takes about 20 mins with smooth traffic. During this month, it takes 4 times longer. I could do 2 round trips with those traffic time and petrol wasted.

Driving during this time of the year is never easy, even the motorcyclists who drives between the cars are experiencing jam. Though I get to have a longer personal time in the car, but I don't enjoy stepping on the brake from the moment I leave my office (the traffic jam starts the moment we leave the car park), guarding my lane while the rest of the drivers are trying to cut queue on the road exits/entrances etc.

You might think highway should help solving the issue. Ironically, the highway is as bad as any other places, most looks like a gigantic open carpark. The traffic builds up before and after the toll booths.

Listening to the radio doesn't help at all, the traffic reports basically tells you the entire traffic system in the country has melted.

These phenomena subside everyday (if without rainning) around 7pm, when most of the Muslims have reached home preparing to break fast. The entire city center would look like a ghost town, you can hardly find more than 10 cars within your 500m vicinity while driving.

The flood of traffic would slowly get back to normal in about 8.30pm, when people have finished their meal and going home.

Also, during the peak hours, until after the break fast, do not attempt to visit any restaurants, because car park is precious at this time, and table seats are mostly taken as well.

Despite all the delicious Ramadan food offered across the country, I would still pass due to the reasons above.

New Bracelet

Made myself a bracelet out of Chinese knots the other day.
It took me about two weeks, approximately 2 hours a day.

Here's the back:


Here's the front:

Wedding photo shooting session

Went for wedding photo session last Friday.
It was a rainny day, but luckily there was some sun coming out when we went for outdoor session.

I was given 5 dresses for the entire day, one for outdoor, the rests are all indoor. I thought 3 would be enough, but they don't offer anything less than 5.

Anyway, the entire session went well, I am quite happy that both myself and my partner were prepared -- brought my own accessories to match with the dresses, he brought a few more coloured shirts to match with the coats. I mean, they have good accessories, but it didn't bring out the effect I wanted.

The photographer and the make up artist was professional. I was quite pleased with the service then.

We went back on Sunday for choosing photos for the album. I wasn't very satisfied with the photo choosing session, as the person didn't give us a thorough briefing on how and what should we be doing. Instead he intended us to rely heavily on him to do the selection.

I guess it was just a combination of the inexperienced guy and our differences. He probably thought that we were clueless and would give our decision power entirely to him. But our (myself and my partner) way of working are pretty different. We were clueless, but we weren't prepared to rely too much on the others to decide what we want.

We selected 82 pictures out of 300 over shots. I am not used to seeing myself in fine make up and at odd angles, and thought that those pictures turned out unlike myself.

Anyway, the selection went well, we paid extra to get some of the things done. We will get the demo set a month from now, and get the pictures a month or two after confirming the design.

They will be making a DVD displaying the photos on our wedding reception, and we need to decide a theme song to go with the DVD. I have been thinking of Bach's Sleepers Awake, but am still trying to find something better. Canon in D was considered, but would be too soft to be heard in the chatty Chinese dinner hall. Something with brass would be nice...

Rumour

I heard a rumour today from a VP, asking if Decamouth is leaving.
I wonder...

Old England is back

There was this lady who worked in our office for 15 years before the last retrenchment two years ago. She was hired by our agent after leaving our office, she is now back to our office since the beginning of this month.

I called her Old England, OE.

Despite her strengths are on the product line currently taken care by me, the boss put her in the product line which I would be more suitable. In other words, the MD put OE to do the jobs that are more suitable for me, vice versa.

I have been depressed over my responsibilities for very long, way before OE is back to the office, because it is not challenging enough. Though I am getting very comfortable with what I am doing now, I feel that my intelligence is getting rusty day by day, my EQ is plunging new low everyday...

I was given only one choice, which I might just take it eventually.

Tried on wedding gown

Went to choose my gowns for photo shooting yesterday. The photo session will be two weeks from now, but I need to choose the gown in order for them to alter it prior to the photo session.

I went with my partner, the entire process was rather pleasant, as I didn't need to fight with other brides for gowns, like what I saw in other bridal shops.

I had the entire floor by myself, choosing everything that is available there. The tailor was helping me to fit in the dresses, and gave some comments on some of the dresses I chose.

Some of my friends volunteered to help me on the gown fitting day, but I rejected all of them, as I already know what fits my body the best. And I am not keen to have a bunch of girls who are overly keen to get into the marriage process again, giving lots of comments which they might not have done on their wedding and wanted to realise it through my wedding without their own cost.

The bridal shop had the entire day booked for me, but I took less than 3 hours to choose 3 dresses.

It was tiring enough, eventhough all I needed to do was to pull out the dress from the shelves and wear it, with the help of the tailor.

I am happy with two of the three gowns. The third one was chosen by my partner, which I thought it looked like a huge blue meringue. But I guess I should try on something that's outside my normal self.

I saw some of the jewelleries available in the shop, I guess I might need to make some myself. Because most of them were too elaborative.

I am foreseeing some problems to coordinate the photo album after the photo session. Because outside the 3 dresses, which two were ivory/white and a royal blue, I also have a Chinese traditional two-piece-dress which is chilli red with lots of complicated embroideries. I wonder if the album would turned out to be like an American flag?

Exciting week

It has been a rather exciting week so far. I spent 3 days outside office, meeting client and did inspection work at a job site with Mr. Porche.

Mr. Porche is a great manager, I enjoyed learning from him and working with him.

I also got my engineering chartership yesterday. Yay~! But when I looked at Mr. Porche, I feel that there is still a long way for me to become a professional engineer like him. He got his CEng around my age too, would I become like him in 10 years time?

Labuan a year later

I was in this plant a year ago doing operation and maintenance training to the client's operation team. I visited the plant with our project management consultant and wrote something about social etiquette. It was just before I left to Kansas.

I went back again earlier this week to do a performance test on the product, after it has been operated for a year. I am happy for carrying out the test with the help of Mr. Experience.

The test went well, and we had one extra day before coming back. It was meant for contingency, we took that day and visited Labuan a little. Of course, I received phone calls from Mr. Porche, and had to cut the lazy day short to return to hotel checking some emails from him.

Mr. Experience spent longer time in Labuan while the product was being constructed, he knew the place pretty well. He brought me to this restaurant and we enjoyed some pretty good seafood by the sea. Don't imagine great settings, as it is also next to the wet market. It is not a place for ambiance.

There was a black cat with yellow stripes, that meow at our table from the beginning to the end of our meal. It even raised its paw to pad my thigh and my chair, to show that "hey, I am calling you to give me some food."

It didn't go away despite having a few rather large treats from us. It came back the next day when we returned as well. Darn cat.

Labuan is pretty small, most of the people work for the few plants there. You can see people walking around the city center with colourful coveralls, including myself.

Anyway, I am back home now.

Exit, escape

My career with this company, in its local office has come to a bottleneck.
I am more interested in product development, but there isn't an option here. I even offered to be in the project management role, but there just don't have any other choices. There isn't anything going on here, unless I were transferred to other offices outside of this country. But I can't leave this country for a long period of time anymore.

I was given an easy exit, but I guess it doesn't matter where I go, the result would be similar.

The South East Asia market houses mainly sales offices from various multinational corporations. Most of them don't have a proper (if ever) technical team here. It is always good to have a technical person in the local team, but it would only bore the technical person to death, as the technical supports are pretty trivial -- mainly generated from the sales person who refuses to understand the product and to take the responsibilities for owning up their promises to the clients. More importantly, it is because the technical teams here couldn't make the decisions for the product specials requested by the clients.

Some advised me to start my own business, but growing up in a business household, I am very reluctant to get into a business.

I don't know what am I doing here... I need to escape from this life.

What a day

Had my first car accident today.
I accidentally crushed into the car in front of me, during a traffic jam.
The damages on that car was barely noticeable, the damages on my car include dented front bumper and crooked bonnet cover.

Was nervous, and did some stupid things by complying to the command of that lady -- supplied too much personal details.

I insisted to lodge a police report, instead of settling on the spot. Just came back from police station. I am worried that she might come and harass me, because she had my personal details.

The lady was pretty fierce.

New member on board

Finally, we have a new sales person joinned us today.
But Decamouth and HR are away in China for a week's trainning.
There is no arrangement done for this new guy, not even computer, door access card etc.

He was unofficially assigned to Porche and myself for technical training, by Cockroach, after a chat in the corridor among Decamouth, HR, himself and Azreal.

Porche and myself had a simple briefing laid out for him, but we thought it is more important for Cockroach, Decamouth and the MD to come out with a bridging program tailored for a new sales hire, and to give a brief orientation of the office's operation flow.

Nonetheless, Porche covered for me this afternoon by giving him a brief organisational introduction, and I will spend an hour a day with the new sales guy for the rest of the week to brief him through some basic product features and how my sales support role interacts with his sales role.

Being a young chap, this guy is eager, I would like to see his interactions with Decamouth for the coming months.

Marriage is a lonely path

Ever watched the movie "Infernal Affair"? That's exactly how I feel about marriage.

I am not sure how the brides from the rest of the world felt, but I think marriage is a lonely path.

ROM

Got the registration done this morning. I guess I was the most under dressed bride among the crowd.

Most of the bride got their hair and/or make up done by professional make up artists, wearing their "little white dresses" (cocktail dresses). While I only wore a simple brown skirt and white blouse.

I didn't want to have flowers at the beginning, but was persuaded by my bf... erm.. husband. So we went to this florist opposite my office block over the lunch time yesterday, and got a bouquet of whatever flower that is available. I took the white rose, changed the elaborative catalogue design to this simpler one:


(the fake pearl was my necklace)

I have a huge white rose brooch a long time ago, and thought of putting it on my hair for the registration. But unfortunately for my husband's culture, white flowers are for funeral, especially on the hair... tolerance was already been given for the white rose bouquet... So I spent the whole night before the registration of marriage trying to make a hair piece, from whatever that is available, and is not white.

This is the hair piece I made eventually, from a square scarf, and a Chinese knot rose.


Woke up this morning, had breakfast, washed up, started bundling up the hair and put on the make up. Took me about 1 hour. Drove my parents to the venue, about 35 mins.

The registration took place in a well known Chinese temple, we were 213th couple that was being registered today. Waited for our turn for 1.5 hours.

Given GMT stands for General Malaysian Time, the registration appointment was late by 30mins, which is considered pretty good in local standard. The entire process took about 10-15 mins, and we were out of the room.

Lunch with guests after the registration, and we all went our separate ways after that. That's how I had my registration.

In summary, I wasn't very pleased with the entire process, but there was nothing much I could do. I couldn't smile, because I was having headache from the flu, make up melting under the hot sun and couldn't wipe it off, to climbing up and down the stairs with heels that hurt my ankles, to endure the long queue in the toilet with those lack-of-civil-minded-people keep cutting queue (and bring their whole family after they got in front of you), the place was very crowded and the waiting area was not big enough to cater the crowd.

Most of the people were guests that came to celebrate the ROM with the couples, but I don't know why people make such a big fuss on registration day. The couples are just there to sign some papers.

Anyway, may be I am just cynical. I should be happy and thankful for the guests that came for our marriage registration.

Ear piercing

Got my ear pierced this afternoon at the local jewellery shop. Cost RM30. It came with a pair of dummy earrings. I am supposed to wear it for 2 weeks, before replacing it with the gold earrings for 3 months. I can only wear other earrings after that. Need to refrain myself from seafood and nuts during these time. I had my ear pierced long time ago when I was a child. But due to regular X-ray on my head, I didn't put the earrings back, and the holes eventually healed. In the old Chinese believe, when a kid were ill most of the time, it means the evil spirits are disturbing the kid, making it difficult to raise the kid. In order to avoid being disturbed, the parents would pierce the kid's ears. It is a way to tell the evil spirits that this kid is no longer perfect, and hoping the spirit would not take this non-perfect kid away. Anyway, this is the second time in my life I got my ear piercing. I hope I could get over it smoothly.

Chased by ghosts

This is what I feel about work these days.

True colours

The MD requested about a month ago, to have the office re-painted before second week of April. Our HR was the appointed person in charge for this task.

She finally got the contractor to come into the office last Friday, to take a look at the work that is required. The contractor mentioned to her that he is lack of staff at the moment, he could take up this job two weeks later. The HR insisted that he must get this office painted before 11 April.

The paint job was finally decided, and was announced by the MD while attending conference overseas with Mr. Porche. The email has two lines: The office will be painted on this Thursday. Thank you for your cooperation.

I do not know what kind of cooperation we agreed to give.

Anyway, today the contractor brought two ladies to paint the office. We (myself, Mr. Experience and Ms. Sulky) wondered how these two middle age ladies could move those filing cabinets in our office.

After lunch, Mr. Experience started moving the filing cabinets. I was worried that he might get hurt, so I went and help out. Those filing cabinets are still full, and we need to move them away from the wall for about 1 foot, so that the painting ladies could paint the walls. There were about 10 cabinets, it was pretty tough to move these cabinets on the carpeted office floor.

I guess despite the HR's lack of management competency, we were still cooperative enough to help out eventually -- for the sake of the painters.

Meanwhile, Mr. Decamouth, Cockroach and HR was chit-chatting away in Cockroach's room, seeing us moving the cabinets through the huge glass partition. Ms. AB and Ms. Azrael went to the training room to continue with their work. Ms. Sulky was too busy with the guests visit on 11 April.

After they finished painting that wall, we moved the cabinets back against the wall. I couldn't access to behind the cabinet like when we moved it out. So Mr. Experience and myself each has to handle one cabinet alone.

Decamouth, Azrael and AB was laughing in a circle and making fun of the paint smell and the hard work of being a painter. Ms. Sulky stopped me from moving the cabinets, and asked Mr. Decamouth to come over to help.

As Mr. Decamouth approached to the first filing cabinet nearest to him (it was an empty filing cabinet), he pushed it hesitantly and said, "Wow, how to move all these, it is so heavy!"

If Mr. Experience weren't in my way, I would have taken off my shoe and slapped him with the underside of my shoe. He simply moved things as he like, without aligning them properly. He also made a lot of comments when Mr. Experience asked for his hand. I needed to re-aligned those cabinets that he pushed, so that there would be enough space for us to access to the power point behind the cabinets.

Although their reactions are well expected -- this is not the first time Decamouth and Cockroach refused to help out with physical works. -- I still feel sick seeing their behaviour.

Stumble again

Mr. Twoheadsnake left the company yesterday with immediate notice from the MD. Apparently he has left the company to join our competitor to become the Engineering Manager.

According to Mr. Experience, who has friends and ex-colleagues from this company (that went to that competitor), that competitor are recruiting a large group of people this year, and every new recruit will be sent to US for training.

I guess in a way, Twoheadsnake has gotten what he wanted from that competitor. He was jealous of me for going to US, and he had eyed for Mr. Porche's Technical Manager position for long.

Also, ever since he was appointed to sales department and working with Decamouth, he was not assigned a good territory. Those "return guaranteed" territories were all taken by Decamouth, Twoheadsnake was left with those rather immature territories. With both of them relying on the commission to boost their income, it is unfair that Twoheadsnake put much more effort than Decamouth, but didn't get as good return as Decamouth.

The office is now stumble again, we are left with only Decamouth -- the full time sales person, and two other part time sales -- Mr. Porche and Ms. Bolly. Bolly is in our Singapore satelite office, working alone. She gave birth to a twin, and is still recovering from the complication of the child bearing.

Everyone is looking at me now (some even spoken to me), hoping that I would take initiative to volunteer myself to take over Twoheadsnake's stuff. But I am not going to say anything, until the MD is asking me for help. In fact, I am already helping to clean up Twoheadsnake's mess, by answering the questions from the rep that were directed to him.

Some thoughts

There have been various disasters happened in the past 1 year, the few that pops right out when I was typing are: oil spill in US Gulf Coast, Japan Fukushima nuclear plant damaged, Hungary Alumina plant accident, Chilean miners spending months in a hole.

Some were luckier than others, but most of these has caused serious damages to the environment.

Although when we zoom out to the past century, there were more than 1 major oil spill, more than 1 nuclear power plant issue, lots of industrial accidents and coal mine mishaps.

These incidents reminded me of a movie I watched recently, called Gasland. It made me think that sometimes, we actually engineered the disaster.

When we claimed that nuclear power is a clean power, natural gas is clean energy, do we really know the contaminations we made when producing these energies?

When we claim that the drilling and mining are done with state of art technologies, do we also have a state of art counter-checking system?

I believe engineering helps man kind to develop, and with measures, develop responsibly. But in the world when anyone can be called engineers and researchers, I wonder if we actually understand what we are doing.

Life is about taking risks, and it is a chain of coincidences, or perhaps accidents, that created sparks that made us unique. Do we want to have the sparks so bright and huge that it consumes the entire earth? I sometimes feel that we are actually planning a mankind funeral to come.

I can't help wondering: do we really need to be so developed? Where are we heading, what are we aiming anyway?

Lousy day

While I am totally swamped with work today, which mostly has nothing to do with me, I also met a few nonsense people, and had a few nonsensical conversations:

Scenario 1
Twoheadsnake is having his honeymoon in Hong Kong Disneyland, and he forwarded me an quotation request from the rep., asking me to help him prepare the price and send it to the Singapore rep.

I called the rep, but his office phone was having some problem -- he couldn't hear the receiving end. So I called his other office phone, the rep's father picked up the phone. I introduced myself, told him why I looked for his son, and asked if there were any other ways I could get to his son.

He refused to give me the phone, so I asked him to pass my message to his son. I left him with my name and number. He hesitated when he found out that I was calling from Malaysia, he gave me his son's mobile number, and asked me not to talk too long with his son on that number.

I knew what he had in mind -- asking his son to call overseas = too expensive. But in Singapore, receiving call on mobile phone also incurred charges to the receiving end. Nonetheless, the cost for receiving the phone is less than calling overseas.

I was like, WTF?!?!?!?!! We are all out in the society to do business, and you are reluctant to communicate?! Go back to become a caveman, don't come out and bother us.

Scenario 2
As I do not know the procedures to prepare the quotation on the above mentioned project, I asked for help. The MD walked by, and pulled Decamouth into the conversation.

Decamouth started to talk cock, by saying that the system and software is very complicated, every quotation takes about 20 mins of work. All his time were wasted on working on these quotations.

He then said to me, in Mandarin "It would be good if you can learn how to do the quotation, then it would be a big help to me."

I was bothered by 4-5 other technical requests at that moment, and didn't find a way to counter him, so I said, "Attending to the sales requests inbox is already taking me a lot of time."

I regret that I have missed a huge chance to shoot him with "Give me your commission, and I will work the quotations for you."

Man, if a sales manager do not spend his time working on quotations, what else can he do? They don't even go out of the office to grab sales, they all rely on the rep! Such a bastard.

Scenario 3
While trying to communicate with the Singapore rep, he rejected my call, by saying that he didn't know anything about the project.

I was furious with all the work load that dumped onto me, which has nothing to do with me. So I forwarded the email by Twoheadsnake to the rep and asked him to return my call when he read that email.

Unfortunately, I made a huge mistake. Twoheadsnake mentioned a certain margin that I have to follow while preparing the proposal. But I didn't delete that information when forwarding that email.

So the rep now knows our margin. This is what pushed my furious to the climax. Because I can't believe myself making such a stupid mistake. I hate it when I am making a mistake that shouldn't be made.

I learned that when things have nothing to do with me, I just need to let it sit. Work on my priority first, and let others wait.

I also learned that sales always wants things yesterday, as a technical personnel, I have to ask them to go fuck themselves, so that I could work on their other more "worthy" requests. Because when the sales person is as fucked up as Decamouth and Twoheadsnake, they will never have the initiative to learn, but to rely on me. I can afford to do that.

Next time... I just hope I could learn my short fall fast enough to punch them right at their face.

Cast Overview

A month has passed since my first day of work. I was told to give 2 weeks time observing the office, before devising my career plan for 2011.

Lots of things happened within this month, I foresee some very exciting office politics this year. Before dragging further, let me introduce you the cast with overview:

HR:
Our HR is now conversing more like a human.
She is also in charge of IT stuff now.
She no longer has the priviledge to force us to book flight through her, with her personal credit card which has points earned when book through AirAsia. The travelling stuff is now taken care by our travel agent entirely, and we are all allowed to contact the travel agent ourselves. People whose job requires them to travel are given a company credit card now. Mine is still pending, and the HR is taking her own sweet time.
I am happy to see the changes in HR, but I am still wary of her.

Finance:
Ms. AB, I never introduced her before in my blog. We do not have much interaction at work, but we both arrive at the office the earliest. She is still good at her job, but she is having a lot more overtime now. She is upset of Ms. Azreal's lack of competency and lack of support from the corporate finance team, which is located million miles away from us.

Sales:
Mr. Twoheadsnake is now in Sales. He is no longer hanging out with Azreal and HR. He is now trained personally by the new MD in Sales role. He is still bitter about my chance to go to USA. He still thinks pretty highly of himself.
Personally, I think sales suits him, because he is has the salesmen's calculative mind, good in manipulating people and has the engineer's cautious mind.

Mr. Decamouth still thinks that he is the MD's favourite. I also found that Decamouth has serious problem managing stuff. He has high ego, limited knowledge, but didn't want to admit that fact. He also doesn't know what he doesn't know. He is good in drawing smoke screens with what he knows, good in taking credits and good in playing the "I am the oh-so-pity-victim here." role.

Sales support:
Mr. Cockroach is now taking care of the order processing stuff. He has Azreal and Ms. Sulky report to him. He is still a Tai-Chi master, but getting more cautious now, by wanting double, triple back up for himself before taking any action. He is still devious as always. His delegation emails these days are harsher, especially when it has some technical/engineering work required. It almost sounded as if I did not want to support him at all, he is playing the "You all have to support me, or I will copy your boss in the loop. Or I will make you look bad." role.

Ms. Azreal is as busy body as usual. She is one of the order processing administrator. She is still making a lot of mistakes, learning very slowly, showing very little initiatives to take up tasks.

Ms. Sulky, I never introduced her before in my blog either. She works for the company for a long time, she is very responsible and very serious. She used to be our marketing personnel. She is as grumpy as always. She is now in sales order processing, and is extremely busy due to Azreal's lack of competency at her job, and Cockroach's lack of support.

Technical Support:
Mr. Porche, he is in charge of technical support and doing some sales too. Mr. Experience and myself report to him. He has changed to someone that I do not know anymore, he doesn't hold his stance as strong, and is changing his side rather often these days.

He is still professional at his technical role and still long-winded at his explanations. He is becoming more cynical, but he is forcing me to learn observing the office interactions and think of strategies to counter it.

Mr. Experience, he too, I never introduced him before in my blog. He works for the company for decades, he is now resuming his previous role, which is the site supervisor. He is still professional as usual, but I also realised that he is getting tired.

The boss:
He likes to make a lot of expressive noise to woo the sales guys (Decamouth and Twoheadsnake) who apparently likes it. He is also pretty cautious of me, but he doesn't like me to be formal with him. But I don't know how to be informal towards someone who are cautious of me.

He is like a slimy eel, one cannot pin him down to discuss a topic for more than 2 mins. He slips away and comes back to the topic as he likes, and slips away again. It is frustrating to communicate with him. But I feel that at least when he does not slip away, he listens.

Trip to China

Went to Jiangsu on Sunday, came back home last night. It was my first trip to China.
Went there for product inspection, and also to get to know the team there, as there would be more chance for us to work together from now on.

It was very cold. Living close to the factory means that there isn't anything else to do after work. Stayed mostly in the hotel and factory. There are some small shops near the hotel for one to get some basic necessities, not much of food to choose.

I went to Shanghai the day before flying out, because the trip from the factory to Shanghai PuDong airport is rather far. Spent some time in Shanghai that afternoon, went to Yuyuan Garden. I was walking alone, allowing myself to lost in the narrow and crooked streets in Shanghai. I love walking around and blend into the crowd to feel the heart beat of the city.

The views in those narrow streets were very different from those huge and majestic building you see around Yuyuan tourist area, or those corporate areas. I saw houses entrance that was right against the street, no curb. It was like a corridor filled with doors, except this corridor is also shared by motorcycles, pedestrians, small cars etc. I saw people hanging clothes onto the overhead electrical wire etc., pupils running outside the street after school, surrounding the mobile food stalls to get some fish balls etc.

The food outside Yuyuan is also much cheaper than those in the tourist area. One meat bao in Yuyuan was sold around 10 RMB; few streets behind Yuyuan, it was 1 RMB. I didn't buy them to check on the content though, but I don't think one would pack with a whole pig.

I didn't get to see the inside of Yuyuan, nor the temple there due to the timing -- it was about the closing time.

Shanghai reminded me of the lady's old Cheongsam, the dusty aged silk, with laborious embroidery. Shanghai is packed, the narrow streets and the distances between the buildings reminded me of the tight-fitting, figure-showing Cheongsam. Shanghai is no doubt a very charming city, the architectures left over by the Westerners gave the city some "depth", much like the embroidery on the Cheongsam. The new high rise buildings were like the jewels stitched on the embroidery.

Like the jewels on the Cheongsam, I think it should never outshine the beauty of the embroidery. Otherwise, it would only make the dress looks trashy, despite covered with jewels.

One day, I guess Shanghai would turn into a working lady suit, and I hope those old buildings would remain as the highlights, just like the brooch you see on the lady suit.

The magic of time

I left my apartment in Kansas on 28th Jan. morning before 9am. Went to airport in a cab, took two mints from the cab driver's tray. It was about 10degF that morning.

I flew out of Kansas noon, arriving at LA about 2pm, Pacific time. I didn't adjust my watch. After a few fumbling and hauling, I arrived at the LAX international terminal at about 3pm. The culture shock kinda started sipping in. There were many Asians, from south to south east to far east... People taking more than one seats, sleeping on the already limited seats, talking loudly, extremely crowded A counters...

I took a mint to chill my brain. Decided to keep the other mint for my arrival at Hong Kong or Malaysia.

That was the first time I realised that I haven't adjusted my clock, because my stomach started to make noise -- it was about 5pm in Kansas. I need to wait 3 more hours before the check in counter opens. There was no internet access at the international terminal, even after checking in, and went to the oneworld lounge, the internet access was ridiculously slow. I can't even check email. The food wasn't good.

I recalled that the oneworld lounge has shower facilities, so I asked for it, went in and took a great shower. That was the single happiest thing that I had during the entire trip -- the shower room was big, it had a shower cubical, a basin, a toilet bowl and huge mirror. Shampoo, shower gel and towels were provided. The room was secure and clean.

The checkin was reasonable, the flight was fine, I felt hungry throughout the entire journey, but at least I got some good sleep. Arrived at Hong Kong International Airport on 30th Jan. 5am. Struggled to find the airline counters, struggled to find the Travelounge. The signage in the airport wasn't good -- I spent 1 hour walking up and down to find the Travelounge. Took my second shower in the Travelodge, not impressed, because there wasn't even tissues in the shower room, lighting was very poor in the shower room.

The second wave of culture shock came in during my stay in HKIA. I will pass the cultural and common habitual differences we all knew. I noticed the interesting habit of walking among the travellers. Those that come from right-hand-drive countries would tend to stand on the left side of the elevators; while those that come from left-hand-drive countries tend to stand on the right side. Unlike when coming up from the New York subway, almost everyone would choose the same side to stand. Things like this weren't just at the elevator, but also at the hallway. Notice the way different people make a turn. There were at least 10 near-miss "collision" when I was strolling around the airport.

My flight was at 9am morning. I saw the Yangping mountain from inside the cabin. It was like a dream -- I was there few years ago, riding the cable car with my friend, going up that mountain to see the huge Buddha statue. Here I am again today, looking at the same mountain, while my friend is no longer in HK. I couldn't feel the temperature difference, but the announcement mentioned that it was 9degC that morning. And I thought, I had not only travelled across the time, there was also the change of temperatures and units. I am lost in the units and couldn't comprehend how cold was 9degC at that time. Everything felt surreal when you are lost in time and units.

The entire journey was surreal, as the golden clouds above HKIA reminded me of my flight from Kansas to LA at the beginning of the journey. When I looked back, it was already two days ago.

I arrived Malaysia few hours later, the rain had brought down the temperature. From that point onwards, I have been terrified by the left-hand-drive traffic in Malaysia -- I tend to turn into the opposite traffic lane even until today. It made things worse when I am sitting on the passenger seat...

Anyway, I feel lucky and blessed that despite all the natural disaster around the globe, I managed to get home safely to spend the Chinese New Year with my family and friends.

Finally, the moment has come...

From the day I sold my car, canceled my insurance, bank accounts, drove the rental car to returned the rental car...

From the day I started having farewell lunches with every group, to attended the annual dinner on my last day of work...

From the day I had exit interview, to distributed thank you notes and said good bye to everyone...

From the day I spoke to the shipping agent, packed stuff at home, until the moving agent came by to pick up the goods...

It didn't occur to me that I am leaving so soon, until my shipments were collected, until I returned my car. The apartment suddenly seems so empty and impersonal again.

I am feeling very sad to leave Kansas. I have met a lot of amazing people here, and learned a lot from them. I also felt more comfortable in my own skin here, and I managed to have some good night sleep here.

I am feeling very anxious about going back to Malaysia, because I will face those stupid nonsense office politics there, and losing my freedom and sleep at home.

Nonetheless, the moment has come. Things that happened over the past 10 months cannot be repeated again. Even if it were repeated, it would never turn out the same anymore.

Though I felt that I am still desperately trying to hold on to every chance to learn and absorb everything from everyone. But it is time for me to let go. It is a good time for me to go back to the office and re-establish my image in front of those office bullies. It is time for me to apply what I have learned in Kansas.

I may stumble and fall, I may be hurt, but I must walk this path to be more mature in managing myself and handling situations. It will be a fruitful year of rabbit.

A Gift from USA

Got a cute gift from the group I worked with over the past 10 months.

I guess since Valentine's day is around the corner, there isn't much choice for gift. It is a bear wearing red jumper that has a heart on it, and it carries a bag of heart shaped Godiva chocolates.

I distributed the chocolates to everyone in the group, and carried the bear back home.

Also, I made a snow angel with my colleague from the other group, at the end of the last day of work.

The one on the right is me. My colleague is bald and he didn't wear a hat, so his one is kinda like a headless angel...

Last day at work

Spent the night before the last day of work finishing all the thank you notes to people I worked with. Spent three quarter of the last day distributing the cards.

Some come back with me with comments, some just kept quiet. I don't know if it is appropriate to send cards like this or not.

When DT (a Malaysian colleague of mine, who is employed by the Kansas office) got to know the cards (before I sent it out), he became sacarstic and thought I have taken too much attention from others.

I thought of many ways to show my gratitute since summer 2010, from making souviniers to sending thank you emails, it turns out this is the way that suits me well. Words that sounds cliche to say it, turn out alright when written in a card.

I thought hard about DT's words, and decided to ignore it. That is because, being the first person sent from overseas to the headquarters for long term assignment, I already grabbed a lot of attention from others, whether I like it or not.

So I guess I shouldn't worry about the side effects, because no matter what it is, there is always a good and bad side.

My last day of work also coincide with the company's annual dinner, which was hosted together with some other companies in Kansas. Most people in the dinner was from our company though.

I felt awkward to go alone, and wasn't feeling well due to the headache that comes from lack of sleep. Nonetheless, I was happy, and had some fun. I guess I would have had more fun, if the headache wasn't there, because I could then have a clear mind to join the gambling tables.

Sold my car

Just sold my car, cancelled my insurance policy and now ploughing through some pre-departure paperwork with a very sad mood.

I feel sad not only because I lost a huge chunk of money selling the car, but also because it symbolises that I am going home for sure, real soon.

The Corolla though wasn't new, but accompanied me without much complaints. I have a lot of first time memories of that car -- interacted with junky car sales man, venturing to unknown places, made a wrong turn to opposite traffic, driving in snow, etc.

I scraped the Corolla every morning, and took real good care of it. I remember every scratch on the car, every sound of the car. I know I will forget one day, but I can't help to feel sad.

For the remaining days in Kansas, I am having this Ford Taurus. Huge and stink of sugary drink spill.

First time driving in snow

It started snowing since Saturday night, through Sunday until now. Nonstop.
I drove the first time in snow on Sunday. It was a short distance, the snow wasn't thick, my car skid a little when I made a 90 degree turn, but was managable.

It got worse this morning, when I need to drive about 15km to go to the mechanic's shop to have my engine oil change. It took me more than 1 hour to get there.

My car skid a few times, because I didn't know how fast I should drive. The brake hardly works when it gets about 40mph. I had to quickly switch lane so that I don't bump into the car in front of me. Also, when big truck drove pass me, I could feel that my car skid a little.

Things that I took for granted in Malaysia got to me now. Windshield wiper, I never thought they could stick onto the screen so tight.

Water on the windshield could freeze in seconds that it actually scratched my wiper rubber.

Air conditioning becomes so valuable at this time, because it helps the back of my car to stay clear. (I don't have a wiper at the back)

Can't see the road, can't see divider, can't stop properly, can't drive straight well enough. The pond behind the office was frozen since November and it is now covered with snow. I wonder if anyone would think it is a flat land.

The snow was about 4 inches thick this afternoon, I think it will get thicker tomorrow. Worse thing is, since the ice on the car melted halfway when I drove it, it is going to get harder when it re-freeze tonight. I am starting to think if I should walk to work tomorrow.

May be I have gotten used to the temperature here, I don't feel that cold. I never experienced less than -3degC before, and I was outside when it was -11C these few days... I guess without wind-chill effect, things become more bearable.

Crazy Couple

OK, I thought it was my colleague's gf that was crazy enough to send me the nonsense email. I obviously forgotten that it takes two hands to clap.

I created a pdf copy of that crazy woman's email, and send it to my colleague, hoping he would take over from there. Then I got this from him:

Hi,

I think there has been a misunderstanding between all of us. I think this general confusion was initially created by our trip to the Rockies. I was in a relationship, I still am, and I just would like to clarify this.

Have a good start into 2011.

D

I was unhappy about his sly reply, which makes me look bad. I wrote this to both of them:

D and T,

D, the reason I forwarded your partner's email to you instead of replying to her, is because I don't think I have anything to do between you two.
The clarification below is devious. I know you are in relationship since the first day of knowing you. I don't think there is any misunderstanding between us.
I always treat you as a colleague, and was grateful for your help. It is strictly professional, which I don't think there is anything to explain about.

To T, it is rude and disrespectful to initiate such allegation. If you were sincere in your relationship, you should have confronted your partner and have confidence in yourself, instead of sending harassment email to your partner's colleague.
You have also put a bad image to yourself by disrespecting your partner's privacy, and insulting his colleague.

I do not want to be involved in any discussion between the two of you, and certainly do not want to be disturbed again by receiving anything senseless in the future.

I dare not hope for an apology, and I kinda feel that there would be some continuation from this, because I am dealing with two lunatics now.

Though I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I am getting a little panaroid now with my interactions among other colleagues.